


False Impressions

by nakadoo



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: M/M, awkwardly written smut, but mostly just fluff, kind of crack to an extent, may change though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-07
Updated: 2015-02-18
Packaged: 2018-03-10 23:42:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3307526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nakadoo/pseuds/nakadoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the top of the Dollars forum, the most popular thread yet:</p><p>[SHIZUO HEIWAJIMA AND IZAYA ORIHARA HAD SEX IN AN ALLEYWAY.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The start of a horrible misunderstanding

_[It was in an alleyway, no less!]_

_[What?! No way, that can’t be true!]_

_[That’s unsanitary!]_

_[The nerve some people have, really…]_

_[There must be some kind of mistake though…]_

_[Mistake!? No! It’s destiny, no fate! It was bound to happen someday!]_

_[Destiny? Fate? More like a complete load of BS. You don’t really believe this do you?]_

 

 

Rumors are a really fascinating phenomenon; be it something said in passing or based on a photo, the fact that they spread so fast was simply fascinating. They boomed like flus on the rainy seasons and died out like fruit flies on the very next day, though some rumors had longer life spans compared to others.

This rumor in particular seems to have caught the inhabitants of Ikebukuro in equal parts curiosity, disgust, awe, and even fondness.

The Fighting Doll of Ikebukuro and Shinjuku’s greatest informant, Shizuo Heiwajima and Izaya Orihara, are apparently sleeping together.

It had started on a sunny summer afternoon; the city streets were alive with traffic and people, cars honking loudly at each other as locals and tourists chatted amongst themselves in the warmth of the city. It was, in a way, peaceful. Normal. The Usual.

Even as a vending machine flew across the air in a seemingly calculated parabola, nearly hitting its target. 

Said target was quick to react, barely dodging it really as he made a simple step back. Still, despite the near death experience, he smiled almost as if he were enjoying himself. Turning his body to face the source of his almost death, he raised his arms as if he were shrugging in indifference. “So close, Shizu-chan,” came his teasing voice. “Your aim is getting better though, I’m almost scared.”

“That so?” Shizu-chan, the former bartender, asked in reply like they were talking about something completely safe. “Maybe if you didn’t move, I’d hit my mark. Maybe if you didn’t move, I’d finally win this stupid game. Maybe if you didn’t move I could finally FUCKING KILL YOU!” His voice roared at the young man in a parka despite the summer heat.

He let out a huff, like he was disappointed. “Ah, really? Then it wouldn’t be a game anymore if I let you win,” he replied with a mock pout on his face. “And besides, I wouldn’t want to lose against you of all people.”

Izaya Orihara sighed, like he was tired. Though in reality, he really was tired. He had been up for three days straight working on a last minute job, which he now regrets accepting. The energy he was exerting simply by running away from Shizuo was derived only on caffeine and sugar and only a tad of adrenaline. He felt like he could fall over at any moment, to be honest.

Izaya swayed slightly on his spot, the fatigue starting to get to him as he tried to stay awake. He spun on the heel of his foot to wake himself up and to make it look like he was fine, and waved exaggeratedly at the blond whose intent was to kill him. “While I do love running away from my imminent death,” he started with a playful tone, “I have things to do, and people to see and all that. Ta-ta, Shizu-chan!” he said, forcing one foot in front of another as he ran away.

Shizuo watched for a few milliseconds as Izaya ran away, his head throbbing from the heat, the annoyance and, coincidentally, his fatigue as well.

Similar to Izaya, Shizuo was running on the power of energy drinks filled with too much sugar. He’s lacking sleep, has been for over a week now, and the only thing that keeps him going besides the energy drink is the fact that he doesn’t want to disappoint Tom-san or his little brother. Though Tom insists that it would be all right for him to take a day off, he denied the offer, saying the weekend was coming up anyway.

He should have taken the offer.

He ran after Izaya and their game of cat and mouse continued, leaving havoc and wreckage behind on the path that they pave across the city they both grew up in.

But to the locals, it was just another normal day.

“Ah, fuck,” Izaya muttered to himself quietly, his legs only barely keeping him up. His head was starting to ache along with his body, and his eyes were struggling to stay open. He didn’t even notice right away the orange sky had turned to a deep dark shade of blue, the warm summer afternoon having turned into a cool summer night. He cussed once more, pulling his phone out to check the time. It was late, nearly nine. “Ah, Namie must have already left,” he muttered more. “My dinner is going to be cold,” he added ruefully. “Fuck.”

He looked back behind him and it looked like that Shizuo was nowhere within sight. Did he finally lose him? He’s not too sure.

He took one step forward, and then another and another. He found that he could no longer keep himself standing, and as his consciousness began to fade away, the last thought he had in mind was simply “fuck.”

 

Shizuo had stop to catch his breath. Izaya has always been faster than him, unfortunately, and though the informant didn’t look it his stamina was surprisingly high.

He was trying to decide whether or not he should let Izaya go. He was tired, almost painfully so, and his legs and muscles were sore from the running and throwing and bumping into things. But at the same time, he felt like he was so very close to finally cornering the flea. With that in mind he forced his body to keep moving and he took in a deep breath as if he were trying to literally find Izaya’s scent. It was an uncanny ability, but he was very good at pinpointing Izaya’s location.

Forward. Forward. Forward.

When Shizuo finally found Izaya, the informant was sprawled across an alleyway with his upper body haphazardly thrown over the top of several garbage bags while his lower half was painfully sprawled on the dirty gravel of the floor. 

 

 

_[It’s true though! I saw it with my own two eyes!]_

_[I don’t believe it! Where is the proof then?!]_

_[Proof?]_

_[Evidence! Something to show that you’re telling the truth.]_

_[Eeeeh. Do you really think I’d take a picture?!]_

_[Would anyone have the guts to do that?]_

_[That’s true, if they had seen you, you might as well consider yourself dead. That Orihara is good at remembering faces and finding names, you know.]_

_[Wahhh….. So scary!]_

 

 

Shizuo grinned. This was his chance. Finally. After years and years of chasing.

He took one step, two steps, three steps and before he could take a fourth his body rebelled against him and his consciousness slipped away; fatigue won over his body and against his own will his body shut down. He unceremoniously fell, his head landing right on Izaya’s lap.

[I saw Shizuo Heiwajima and Izaya Orihara sleeping together.]

That one single line of text, having been passed on from one person to another lead to the inevitability of all rumors: twisted beyond its original message.

 

 

 

 

**[SHIZUO HEIWAJIMA AND IZAYA ORIHARA HAD SEX IN AN ALLEYWAY.]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be completely honest, I just wanted Izaya and Shizuo to sleep together.
> 
> Ah... I totally need a beta reader.


	2. Too tired to think

Midnight.

Izaya stared up at the night sky, the stars invisible to his eyes while the moon shined brightly. His head pounded painfully, a dull throbbing at the back of his skull while his muscles ached and complained. He was tired, mentally and physically, and despite the few hours of sleep he managed to catch he knew it wasn’t enough.

He rubbed the temple of his head with his hand, and then let it drop to his lap. Only, there was something in the way.

“Wha…” Izaya whispered softly to himself, squinting his eyes in concentration as he tried to register what exactly it was on his lap. He moved his fingers, feeling something that oddly reminded him of petting a dog. Was there a dog on his lap? He tried to focus more, his eyes still tired, and caught glimpse of something blond. Was it a golden retriever? Well those kinds of dogs were really cute, he thought to himself, and let both hands pet the dog’s head. “Wah, so fluffy” he murmured tiredly and closed his eyes once more.

As his hands moved, they brushed against something that definitely didn’t feel like a dog, but more human like in feature. “Ah, come to think of it I don’t feel its ears,” Izaya muttered. Golden retriever ears were supposed to be floppy, right?

Izaya sighed, willing himself to wake up completely despite the fact he didn’t really want to. Though as his eyes finally began t work properly again, he froze as realization came rushing back to him.

“Ah, Shizu-chan.”

Shizuo was resting rather peacefully on his lap, his bowtie looking rather loose and his vest a little bit out of place. He was snoring, very softly, one of his arms drapped beside his head across Izaya’s lap.

He was heavy.

Izaya stared for a few moments then his hands began to move again across Shizuo’s hair. His lips hard pressed together as he tried to will away the blush that began to creep up his cheeks. “Wah, Shizu-chan is so fluffy,” he thought to himself idly as he continued to pet and stroke his hair. “Its so soft for something that’s constantly bleached.”

Izaya stared at the mouth of the alleyway and noticed that there were still several people out and about despite the time. Then again, Ikebukuro was a city that never slept so he wasn’t really surprised. What did surprise him though is the fact that no one seemed to have bothered or noticed them sleeping in the alley. Did people perhaps think they were homeless? He laughed quietly to himself.

Still, he was tired. Shinjuku was relatively far away, and to hail a cab now would simply grate on his nerves. He wondered if Namie would pick him up if he asked nicely, but immediately scratched the idea out of his mind almost the very instant he thought it. Of course Namie wouldn’t do that.

“Shizu-chan,” he muttered, gently patting Shizuo’s cheek in an attempt to wake him up. “Shizu-chan, get up, you’re heavy.”

Shizuo stirred slightly and shifted and rolled to his other side, his face now pressing against Izaya’s stomach as his arms circled around Izaya’s waist. “Five minutes, Kasuka,” Shizuo grumbled back in annoyance and Izaya could swear he could almost feel the furrow of his brow against his stomach.

“No, not five minutes,” Izaya argued, pretty annoyed himself. “Right now, Shizu-chan.”

The blond in question growled softly and sat up, rubbing his eyes. He didn’t seem to recognize whom he was with at the moment, still too sleep riddled to fully comprehend the situation he was in. “Why now. Why can’t it be five minutes?” He asked, sounding almost despondent. “I’m tired.”

“I’m tired too,” Izaya agreed, getting up slowly as he dusted himself off. He looked over Shizuo who still had his eyes closed and looked like he fell asleep again in his sitting position and sighed. “Shizu-chan, your apartment is near here, ne?” Izaya asked as he checked his phone. It was thirty minutes passed midnight, Saturday.

“Mm,” Shizuo answered, lazily nodding his head.

Izaya walked to stand in front of him, bending down slightly to grab Shizuo’s hand. He pulled. “Shizu-chan. Up, up. Let’s go,” he instructed. “I can’t do all the work, you’re really heavy.”

Shizuo grumbled, his eyes still closed, as he begrudgingly stood up. He swayed slightly on his feet before steadying himself and grumbled softly about beds not being soft enough. It seemed like he was determined to stay half asleep.

“Don’t blame me if you trip,” Izaya warned, pulling Shizuo out of the alleyway and into the streets, leading him like a tired puppy back home.

Neither of them really noticed the stares sent their way since Shizuo’s eyes were closed while Izaya was trying his best to remember the route to the brute’s home. It took them several minutes of slow walking until finally they were walking up the stairs to Shizuo’s apartment.

Shizuo stumbled slightly as they ascended the stairs but it wasn’t enough to snap him out of his half sleep.

Izaya wasn’t faring much better, his shoulders already drooping down and the hold on Shizuo’s hand was getting loose. “Keys, Shizu-chan,” he mumbled as he rubbed his eyes.

The former bartender didn’t respond right away, and it was only after Izaya had patted his cheek for attention did he fish his keys out of his pocket. He handed them to Izaya, his sleep deprived brain making him, for some reason, look a lot like Kasuka.

Izaya unlocked the door and let himself in, opening the door wide enough for Shizuo to stumble in after him. He locked the door behind him, only out of habit really, and tossed the keys onto the coffee table that sat in the middle of the small living room. He noted belatedly that Shizuo had began stripping off his vest and shirt slowly and was throwing them to the ground without a care as he slowly made his way to his room.

The informant followed suit, pulling off his coat as he stepped into the room after Shizuo. “Ne, Shizu-chan. I’m turning the A.C. on, okay?” he called softly into the dark room, already making a beeline towards the remote.

“Mmm,” Shizuo said nodding. “S’hot,” he mumbled, as he let himself fall onto the softness of his pillow. The instant his head hit his pillow, he was out like a light.

After adjusting the temperature to his liking, Izaya joined the blond on his bed. He moved close, letting his cheek rest on top of Shizuo’s chest and one arm drape over the blond’s stomach as he closed his eyes, asleep just as fast as Shizuo.

The night was quiet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

__

_[They were holding hands!!!!!]_

_[What!? So it wasn’t just a quickie?!]_

_[Gross!]_

_[You’re so lewd!]_

_[Shut up!]_

_[Me too! Me too! I saw them holding hands!]_

_[Just now they went into an apartment!]_

_[Oh my gosh…..!]_

_[It can’t be! It can’t be!]_

_[Perhaps it's the end of the world!?]_


	3. Possibly a deal with the devil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're going to have to be as clueless as Shizuo in this chapter. Good luck.

Shizuo had woken up to several noises. The dull hum of the air conditioning as it ran, the low whirl of the dryer down the hall, the clattering in the kitchen, and finally the voice that was very familiar but sounded rather odd.

His blood pumped through his veins as the familiar feeling of anger ran through him; he was pretty sure that it was Izaya right now in the small kitchen of his home, making a ruckus and probably a mess as if he owned the place.

He pulled himself out of bed and made his way to the door, slamming it open as he tried to form sentences in his head. He had several things he wanted to say to Izaya, consisting mostly of his very colorful vocabulary. Something along the lines of “What the fuck,” “Get the fuck out,” or “I’ll kill you.” That sounded just about right. But he paused in mid-step as he looked into the kitchen, his brain barely processing the images it was receiving from his eyes. 

There Izaya was, standing in front of his small electric stove and preparing pancakes.

Blueberry pancakes to be precise.

As he finally calmed himself down to take a seat at the little island in the middle of the kitchen, he watched silently as the informant moved about while he spoke in a rather hushed tone. It was a tone that Shizuo was not familiar with, and he committed it to memory.

Izaya had his phone pressed between his ear and his shoulder, looking rather uninterestedly at the pancake cooking in front of him. He was wearing one of Shizuo’s shirts and matching sweatpants, plus the apron that Shizuo bought months ago but never actually got to use. The informant seemed to be unaware of the bodyguard’s presence behind him as he continued to speak to whoever it was on the other end of the phone.

“Я пошлю кого-то за Вами, оставайтесь на месте,” Izaya commanded gently, a slightly irritated look encompassing his features. He listened on to the prattle of his client and clicked his tongue in annoyance. “Вы знаете, это довольно хлопотно для меня. Нужно было раньше сообщать об изменениях в расписании.”

A frown found its way on Shizuo’s face. He was well aware of the fact that Izaya was multilingual, which kind of ticked him off. The flea was too smart for his own good and it pissed Shizuo off because if Izaya weren’t such an asshole, he’d probably be a very good help to society. What a jackass, abusing his talents like that. Then again, Shizuo really wasn’t in a position to be thinking that.

“Вряд ли моя вина, что Вы ждали несколько часов. У меня есть жизнь за пределами работы,” he chided, transferring one pancake onto the stack of pancakes and continued to cook more. He paused for a moment, adjusted his cell, and then laughed quietly into the receiver. “Ах, как жестоко. Возможно мне просто стоит оставить Вас там.”

Russian, Shizuo had decided, was a very complex language.

“Да, я понимаю. Я буду ждать Вас завтра, как запланировано. До свидания.” Izaya had ended the call with a sigh and finally turned the dial on the stove back to zero. He flipped the last pancake onto the small stack that he had already made, shoving his phone into his pocket as he sat himself down on the island. It was then that he realized that he was not alone. “Oh, good morning, Shizu-chan.”

“Good morning my ass,” Shizuo growled. “The hell are you doing here?”

Izaya stared at the pancakes thoughtfully, took one from the pile, and then shoved the rest towards Shizuo. “We had a sleepover,” he answered after giving it a few seconds of thinking. “Technically speaking, at least.”

Shizuo was about to open his mouth to complain, when Izaya’s phone started ringing.

…His other phone.

Izaya picked up his second phone and opened the message. “I’m still listening,” he said quickly, his eyes staying on the screen of his phone as he read the message for him.

“I can’t remember what happened last night,” Shizuo replied, rather upset with himself. “Did you do something weird?” He stared at the pancakes, then at Izaya who had a pancake sandwiched in between his lips. He decided that the pancakes were not poisoned and began to eat as well.

Izaya shook his head, even as he typed out a reply. Another one of his phones rang, but he ignored it in favor of the one in his hands right now. “No, I was running away from you and then I fell asleep,” he told Shizo simply, seemingly not interested in starting a fight with the blond. “I woke up and you were asleep on my lap, so I took you home.”

Shizuo let the information sink in as the swallowed a mouthful of pancake. “You took me home?” he echoed, looking confused. Did Izaya carry him home? Was Izaya stronger than he looked?

“Mm,” Izaya nodded, putting his phone down to answer the other one. “It was kinda cute, you were half asleep the whole way!” he cheered happily, though his attention was still very much glued to his phone.

He found it weird that Izaya was able to communicate with him while communicating with someone else via email. Multitasking at a whole new level, he thought to himself. He might have been impressed but before he could say anything about it, he suddenly remembered. “Why the hell are you wearing my clothes? And where the hell did you get blueberries for these pancakes?”

“I’m washing my clothes right now so I borrowed yours,” he answered him, putting his phone aside and then reached over to grab another pancake off the plate. “And then I went out to buy some blueberries.”

“You went out in my clothes?!” Shizuo all but yelled, his cheeks ever so slowly turning red. “What the hell!?”

“I don’t know what you’re getting so worked up about,” Izaya replied, his lips quirked down slightly. “They’re just clothes, no one knows these are yours.”

That answer seemed to be enough for Shizuo, partially because he was still a little bit sleepy but mostly because he hasn’t slept that well in such a long time. He was in a good mood because of that, good enough a mood to dispel the anger that he had initially when he woke up. He continued to eat the pancakes thoughtfully, before “why blueberries?”

“What?” Izaya asked as he jerked his head up at the sudden question.

Shizuo shrugged and poked at the few berries that were on the plate. “Why did you choose blueberries? I woulda thought a guy like you would choose… I dunno, strawberries I guess,” he explained rather lamely.

“Are you implying something?” Izaya asked with a quirked eyebrow and a curious grin, gently placing phone number five on the table as he looked at Shizuo who shrugged at him nonchalantly. “I’m allergic to strawberries but Mairu loves them, Mairu’s allergic to raspberries but Kururi loves them, and Kururi is allergic to blueberries and I happen to love them.”

“Ah, so it’s a weakness,” Shizuo stated in an understanding tone. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Could it be? You’re planning to poison me with strawberries?” Izaya laughed, flicking a stray blueberry at Shizuo’s forehead. “They’re red like the stop signs you throw at me, the color is a warning already don’t you think?” he mused, though there was no real logic behind his words. At least, Shizuo didn’t think so.

“Whatever,” Shizuo replied, standing up to fetch the carton of milk that was in his fridge. He took a swig straight from the carton and sat back down, looking at Izaya as the informant made a face of disgust at him. “What.”

“The milk will spoil,” Izaya replied in an almost berating tone. “Use a glass.”

“I’ll finish it in one go,” Shizuo replied flatly, ending the conversation.

The noises continued to fill the apartment, the hum of the A.C., the whirl of the dryer, and now the sound of the muffled news coming from the other side of the wall.

Silence.

“What time is it?” Shizuo asked, taking the used dishes to the sink and began to wash them. It was kind of weird that he could be civil with Izaya like this, and though he may not admit it to himself, he kind of wishes they could stay like this. If Izaya were one less annoyance to deal with, his life would be better.

Izaya stood up at the sound of a ring coming down the hallway. “Ah! My clothes are done!” He cheered happily, making his way down the hall. “It’s 9 Shizu-chan!” he called over his shoulder as he began to strip off the borrowed clothes, folding them neatly before letting them rest on top of the dryer. He dressed up quickly and came out, looking like he usually does.

“Well, Shizu-chan,” Izaya started, picking up his phones from the island as Shizuo washed the dishes. “I had fun, we should really do this again,” he said with a smile, half teasing but also half true.

“Do this again?” Shizuo repeated. “Why the hell would I want to do this again?”

Izaya chuckled, rolling his weight on the heels of his feet like a child. “It’s nice! You’re like a giant teddy bear, you know!” Izaya told him with a grin so wide it almost looked fake. “And I haven’t slept that well in a very long time, and with my line of work a decent night’s sleep is hard to come by.”

“Hnn,” Shizuo grunted, drying his hands on his pants. He turned to look at Izaya who was looking at him expectantly, and he folded his arms over his chest in thought.

He did have a decent sleep that night as well, and if the morning after routines were as peaceful as this then he didn’t really mind. Izaya seemed well behaved in the morning, which he is terribly grateful for. He rubbed his chin in thought, his decision made. “I don’t mind,” he answered, looking Izaya in the eyes. “But you have to tell me when, you can’t just waltz in here unannounced.”

Izaya nodded. “Any other rules that I should take note of?”

“My place, your place, wherever the hell we decide to crash, it's a truce. No fighting, no provoking me” he said the word provoking with heavy emphasis. “And no one can know that we sleep together.”

“As if I’d want anyone to know about this,” Izaya replied with a scoff. “But you’ve got yourself a deal, Shizu-chan.” He stuck out his hand with a smile, waiting for the former bartender to seal the deal.

Shizuo stared at his hand for a few long seconds before relenting, shaking Izaya’s hand once, twice. It kind of felt like he made a deal with the devil.


	4. He's still a jackass

Izaya stared wordlessly at the sleeping man beside him.

It had been a month since their initial agreement, and they’ve been having truces more times than he thought they would. Oddly enough, even though it was Izaya himself who instigated the idea, it was usually Shizuo who made the call for acquiescence. Izaya had begun to wonder if it was because his place in Shinjuku was bigger, and his bed was wide enough to accommodate the both of them comfortably. Not that he minded much, he was very happy to be in the comfort of his own home, though he’d never admit it to Shizuo that he found his small apartment comfortable as well.

He grabbed his main phone from where it sat on his bedside table, checking to see if he had gotten any messages. There were several messages, many of them from young girls who’ve spoken to him regarding their troubles and dreary lives. The most recent message was sent only three minutes ago, and that was probably what had woken him up.

_Sender: Miyaka-chan [03:14]  
They’re fighting again, Nakura-san. I can’t stand it anymore._

_Sender: Miyaka-chan [03:14]  
Ah, I’m sorry for bothering you so early in the morning. I hope I didn’t wake you up._

_Sender: Nakura-san [03:16]  
No need to worry, Miyaka-chan. I understand completely._

_Sender: Miyaka-chan [03:17]  
Thank you so much, Nakura-san. I think… I think I’m ready to meet with you now._

_Sender: Nakura-san [03:18]  
I see. I’ll meet you at the designated area._

After sending the quick reply, Izaya grinned and grabbed at his other phone.

_Sender: Orihara [03:20]  
Courier-san, I have a job for you. I know it’s rather late right now but I’d really appreciate it if you could come ☆_

_Sender: Courier-san [03:20]  
Don’t use stars. It’s disturbing._

_Sender: Orihara [03:20]  
☆ ☆ ☆Don’t you think it’s cute? ☆ ☆ ☆_

_Sender: Courier-san [03:21]  
Stop. I wont accept the job if you continue._

_Sender: Orihara [03:21]  
Ah, so mean. Very well. Please rendezvous at the usual spot at 04:30 at the earliest. Thank you!!_

Izaya got out of bed quietly, not that he needed to try. Shizuo slept very peacefully most of the time anyway. He got up and got dressed, not bothering to leave a note for Shizuo. He’d make this trip really quick, since he still wanted to catch a few more z’s before he really started his day.

The meeting with Miyaka-chan had been quick. He had done what he’d usually do, taunting and teasing and pushing just the right buttons. She was easy to understand, and even easier to manipulate. He watched her from the shadows, contemplating her life and her choices and wasn't surprised at all to see the girl carefully take off her shoes before deciding to plummet to her death.

He watched her back disappear from his sight before taking her shoes, peeking over the building to see that Celty had caught the girl before she hit the ground. He waved at the black rider with a grin on his face, quickly making his way down the stairs to meet with her.

“Good job,” he commended her, slipping Miyaka’s shoes back on. The girl in question had passed out due to the anticipation she felt, sleeping almost peacefully in Celty’s arms. “I’m glad that I could count on you.”

Celty carefully loaded the girl into her sidecar and slipped out her PDA to type a message to show Izaya. [I don’t understand why you do this.]

“There is no need for you to understand,” Izaya said with a shrug of his shoulders. “The inner mechanisms of my mind are for me and me alone to understand.”

Celty paused for a few seconds, not sure how she should respond.

“Well, that’s all for now. I’ll deposit your pay in the usual account,” he told her in a rather business like tone of voice, his body aching to get back into bed. “I’ll forward Miyaka-chan’s address as well.”

Before Izaya could turn and leave though, he felt the cold touch of Celty’s hand on his shoulder and he turned around. It was a little bit out of their routine since Celty would usually leave it at that. He was well aware that the Dullahan wasn’t fond of him, and he didn’t particularly mind since she wasn’t human anyway. Still, he raised a curious eyebrow.

[Things have been quiet lately] was the message that Celty showed him.

Izaya laughed a little quietly and shrugged again. “You make it sound as if I’ve got something planned,” he replied. “Well, I can’t say that I’m denying that accusation though. I’ve always got something planned.”

Celty shook her helmet. [That’s not what I meant. I mean with you and Shizuo.]

The informant stared at the message a little wide eyed. Instead of speaking out his reply, he moved his arms in what appeared to be Japanese sign language. “You’ve noticed?”

The black rider was a little bit glad for his decision to use sign language, because she found it just a little bit easier to communicate that way rather than with he PDA. [Yes. The damage on the streets has decreased and the number of times Shizuo runs after you has decreased as well. Did something happen?]

Izaya nodded. “Well, it’s embarrassing to say to be honest. How many people have noticed?” He signed back at her, his lips curling down slightly. He hoped that people haven’t caught onto the fact that he and Shizuo were on slightly better terms, though he’s not too sure why that should bother him. He disregarded the though; he didn’t want to think about that at the moment.

She hesitated slightly before giving a reply, looking like she was at a loss for words. [There have been rumors.] She stated simply, tilting her head to the side as she tried to think of how to say it carefully. [Have you not seen it on the DOLLARS website?]

“I haven’t been frequenting there in a while,” he replied with a frown, not liking where this conversation was going. “Has something interesting happened while I was doing other things?”

This time Celty hesitated for a while. She never really understood Izaya, he was harder to read than most of the humans that she has interacted with so she wasn’t too sure how he’d handle the news. Still, she found it pretty odd that Izaya wasn’t aware of the rumor, since it revolved around him and Shizuo specifically. She supposed that Izaya was only human, and couldn’t know everything even if he wanted to. She decided to go for the least risky reply. [I think it would be best if you read the thread for yourself. I will send you the link later.] And with that, she mounted her bike and gave Izaya one stiff nod before riding off.

Izaya stared at her rather perplexed. He’s never seen the black rider act so… Flustered? Before. He wasn’t as good at reading body language as Shinra was, so he wasn’t quite sure how he should have understood her words.

Curiosity prickled at the back of his head, and even before Celty could send him the link he had already found it.

The cab ride back home was spent in silence as he expressionlessly read the thread that was already ridiculously long.

\-----

Shizuo awoke to the sound of the door of Izaya’s room clicking open and then closed quietly. Izaya was always up before he was, which annoyed him just a little bit, and he peeked his eyes open in the darkness of the room to see Izaya’s shadow approaching the bed. He quirked an eyebrow. “You went out?” he murmured, his voice still caked with sleep.

“I did,” Izaya replied, getting back into bed with a pensive look on his face.

Izaya was different in the bedroom, Shizuo noticed. He was much more tolerable and calm, his usually malicious looking grin would often be replaced with a look of quiet contemplation. Shizuo knew that Izaya had too many plans than he could execute, but as of late the flea didn’t seem to be doing anything that involved him. He was thankful for that, honestly, because it was one less burden to think of. When they were together, he was sure that Izaya wasn’t going to do anything horrible since he could literally keep an eye on him. “What did you do?”

“Ne, Shizu-chan,” Izaya asked, completely ignoring Shizuo’s question. “You’re a member of dollars, yes?”

Shizuo nodded and then scowled. He was easily annoyed by the influx of messages that came from that damned site, so his phone was usually switched off to avoid the incessant buzzing of his phone. “Don’t care for it, really.”

The informant nodded in understanding, thanking no one in particular for Shizuo’s lack of connection to the Internet world. If Shizuo was an active part of DOLLARS, he was sure that the brute would have come across the thread that Celty was talking about, and perhaps he might have thrown a fit.

Shizuo grumbled more, seeing that the digital clock told him that it was still five in the morning. “Go back to sleep, stupid flea,” he commanded his companion, burying his cheek into the pillow. “I don’t want to listen to you talk about shit this early in the morning.”

Izaya conceded, slipping under the blanket as he tried to get to sleep.

He couldn't.

Picking up his phone, he entered the chatroom he frequented at and was glad to see that there were some people already online.

 

 

_**[Kanra has entered the session]** _

_Kanra: Good morning! It’s everyone’s favorite idol, ☆ ☆ ☆Kanra-chan~~~!!!☆ ☆ ☆_

_Taro Tanaka: Good morning._

_Setton: Good morning._

_Bakyura: Die!_

_**[Bakyura has left the session]** _

_Kanra: How rude!!!!!_

_Taro Tanaka: I wonder why Bakyura seems so hostile against you._

_Kanra: He’s probably just being very tsuntsuntsundere! He’s in the presence of someone as cute as me, after all~~~!!_

_Taro Tanaka: Ah._

_Kanra: But I’m surprised to see you up so early in the morning!_

_Setton: I had some work to attend to and couldn’t get back to sleep._

_Taro Tanaka: That’s too bad._

_Setton: Oh well.._

_Taro Tanaka: I usually wake up early. What about you, Kanra-san?_

_Kanra: Wahh, same as Setton! Some noisy client so rudely interrupted my beauty sleep!_

_Kanra: But that aside, have you guys heard the rumors?_

_Taro Tanaka: …Which ones?_

_Kanra: About that bartender and that informant!_

_Setton: !!!_

_Taro Tanaka: Oh. I’ve heard about it.. I don’t think it’s true though._

_Setton: Yeah! It… Must be some sort of misunderstanding._

_**[Kyo joined the session]** _

_**[Mai joined the session]** _

_Mai: Morning._

_Kyo: Good morning to the early birds of the group. I’m so happy to see that everyone is up and about so early. It makes my chest feel warm with affection for the bonds of friendship that this group has._

_Mai: Indeed._

_[Private mode]Kyo: Is it really true, brother? You’re sleeping with Shizuo-san?_

_[Private mode]Mai: Tell us the juicy bits._

_[Private mode]Mai: Ouch! I was pinched._

_[Private mode]Kanra: I’d rather not talk about my private life with my younger sisters._

_[Private mode]Kyo: If you say it like that, Nii-san, we’re going to assume very dirty things. If you’d like us to think otherwise, then it would be best if you told us the truth. We wont mind if you’re gay! In fact, if you and Shizuo-san were to get married, we’d have a better chance at meeting Yuuhei-san!_

_[Private mode]Mai: It would save us the trouble of killing you too._

_[Private mode]Kanra: I was blessed with very loving sisters._

_[Private mode]Kyo: Our lips are sealed. You can trust us with your dirtiest secrets, Nii-san._

 

 

Mairu and Kururi waited patiently for their brother’s reply. Though the Orihara siblings were never really the best of siblings, the twins felt that they had the right to know what was going on with their older brother’s love life. It was only natural that they would be curious. After all, most of their brother’s romantic rendezvous were with girls, and they usually weren’t really romantic at all.

If their speculations were right, though heavily influenced by the pair of otakus, then their brother was simply in it for the sex and that would mean that Shizuo was… well, a monster in bed.

Mairu giggled.

Before Kururi could send a lengthy complaint to their brother, she received a message.

 

 

_Kyo: !!!_

_Mai: !!!_

_Taro Tanaka: Is something wrong? You guys suddenly went quiet._

_Setton: Did something happen?_

_Kanra: Maybe they heard a ghost!!! Wahh, how scary!!!_

 

 

Mairu and Kururi stared with wide eyes at the picture that they had just received, Mairu already grabbing her phone as she attempted to call her older brother.

 

 

_[Private mode]Kyo: Nii-san! You can’t just send us that without explaining! That’s not fair, and it only serves to make us ask more questions than get answers!_

_**[Kanra has left the session]** _

_[Private mode]Kyo: Nii-san!!!!!!!!!!!_

_Setton: Ahh, I guess she had to leave._

_Taro Tanaka: Kanra-san has been very busy lately, huh…_

 

 

“Iza-nii!” Mairu yelled, her phone call finally pushing through. Instinctively, Kururi went beside her to listen to her brother’s voice. “So its true?! The rumors that you and Shizuo-san are---“

“We’re not sleeping together,” Izaya replied flatly. “Not in that manner of speaking, anyway.”

Shizuo beside him was now awake, staring wordlessly at the ceiling. He was awoken by the sound of a camera clicking and Izaya squirming beside him to squeezed underneath his arm. He didn’t really understand what happened, not yet at least, so he didn’t have the time to react because as soon as the picture was taken, Izaya had shot up into a sitting position and began to click away at his phone.

“Then what was that picture you sent us just now?!” Mairu practically squealed because the curiosity was killing her.

Izaya frowned at his phone and sighed. “Don’t send that to anyone, as per your dear brother’s request,” he said, quickly pulling the phone away from his ear before the twins could scream at him. Wordlessly, he handed it to Shizuo.

“’Lo???” Shizuo asked, finally sitting up as he rubbed his eyes. “The hell is this?”

“Shizuo-san!?”

Finally, things seemed to click in Shizuo’s mind. “Oi! FLEA. Didn’t we agree to keep this a secret!?”

“Ahh well,” Izaya said with a shrug and a mischievous smirk. “Don’t you know that you shouldn’t trust me?” he replied with a laugh, getting out of bed once more to properly get ready for his day. “Don’t take too long talking to my sisters, Shizu-chan. You still have work today after all,” he told the blond, waving his arm over his shoulder as he made his way to the bathroom.

“You JACKASS!!”

Shizuo spent longer than he would have liked speaking to the twins, promising profusely that the twins would meet Kasuka if they kept quiet about the whole situation.


	5. These are bad gifts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Karisawa have mercy on his soul

“Think of it as a gift.”

“Ah??” Shizuo stared at the item he was being handed, his brows knitted in confusion. “The hell is this?”

Shinra grinned his usual amiable smile, keeping away the items that he had used to dress one of Shizuo’s many wounds. “It’s meant to make things easier, you know?” He replied, not completely answering the question he was asked. “Well, I heard some things from Celty, you know, and she was really concerned about you so I thought that I’d be a good friend and help you out.”

The doctor, as per usual, wasn’t making a lick of sense to him. Would it be worth it to press him further for answers or would his answers piss him off? Shizuo sighed, his eyes straying down to the tube that was so graciously given to him. “If it’s a gift born from Celty’s concerns, then I guess I can’t reject it,” he replied, deciding that he didn’t want to hear Shinra’s explanation simply because he was getting a bad feeling about it.

“Oi, oi, Shizuo-kun, if you say things like that I’ll hit you!” Shinra chided in a cheery tone. “If you say something so sweet like that in front of Celty, she might just fall for yo—Ow!” he yelped, clutching at his side where Shizuo had poked him.

He was not exactly sure what it was that Shinra gave him but he pocketed it anyway and stood up to leave. “Thanks for the help,” he replied, absentmindedly waving his hand as he made his way out.

Shinra adjusted his glasses that had gone askew and nodded, his ever-present smile still on his face. “Yup, yup!” he said, walking to the door to let Shizuo out. “And if you’ve got any… questions that you might want to ask, you can always come to me! I’m an expert on these things, you know—ah, more like, an expert on human anatomy and such!”

“Un,” Shizuo replied without really listening to Shinra’s words. “Say hi to Celty for me.”

As he walked to his meeting place with Tom, he sighed once more. Lately, he’s been feeling a little bit better about himself. He’s been causing less and less destruction lately, and it seemed to be like he could control his anger better. He’s not actually sure if he’s becoming better at controlling his emotions or if it’s all a trick of his mind but either way, he feels good. He feels contentment deep within him that he didn’t know he could achieve and it put him in a really good mood.

“Hey, Shizuo,” Tom asked, breaking him out of his reverie. “Is something up?”

Shizuo snapped his head towards Tom’s direction, his brows raised. Did he do something wrong? “No, nothings up,” he replied carefully, not really knowing how to respond to his friend’s seemingly random question. “Uh, why do you ask?”

Tom smiled, and it was one of those charming smiles that Shizuo really liked. “Well, lately it seems like you’ve been in a good mood” he explained, shoving his hands into his pockets as they ascended a flight of stairs in a run-down apartment complex. “Hmm, how do I say this… It’s like the fuse to your anger has gotten longer, or something like that?”

“Really?” Shizuo asked, his voice tinted with hope.

His boss nodded again and smiled widely at him. “Yeah! You’ve been getting into less fights too,” he replied, reaching one hand out to pat at Shizuo’s head. “I’m proud of you,” he praised him.

“Ah, thanks Tom-san…”

\-- -- --

They had gone to a cake shop after their work was done on Tom’s insistence. He wanted to hold a small sort of celebratory party for Shizuo’s newfound sense of calm. Though Shizuo’s temper and patience had only improved a tiny bit, Tom thought that it was important that, especially as Shizuo’s senpai, he was rewarded for a feat they both thought would be impossible for him.

“Great work today, Shizuo,” Tom praised him again, watching happily as Shizuo dug into some cake. He wasn’t really a fan of sweets, but he knew just how much Shizuo loved them. “I mean it.”

Shizuo couldn’t help but blush slightly since he wasn’t used to being praised so much. “Tom-san, it’s really nothing,” he murmured abashedly, shoving his hands into his pockets after finishing his cake. It was then that he remembered, as his hand brushed against a tube in his pocket, that he still had no idea what it was that Shinra had given him. Taking it out, he rolled it over in his hands carefully and tried to think of what it could possibly be.

“What is that?” Tom asked, noticing that Shizuo had gone into a different kind of quiet than his usual one. But before he could ask another question, his voice died in his throat as he realized what it was.

The bodyguard didn’t seem to notice the pause in Tom’s actions and shrugged. “I dunno,” he replied, placing the tube on the table and in between the two of them. “My friend gave it as a gift, but I’m not really sure what it is,” he replied in a pensive sort of way. “It looks like toothpaste but it doesn’t say toothpaste anywhere…”

“A friend, you say,” Tom replied carefully, not quite sure how he should handle the situation. “Did… Did they say why?”

Shizuo shook his head no. “No.”

Tom’s mind raced, thinking of how to explain to Shizuo what exactly the gift was. Shizuo wasn’t a teenager though, shouldn’t he know what that is? Then again, he’s pretty sure that Shizuo hasn’t been in a relationship before, let alone a sexual one, so the need for him to know about it was unnecessary. Tom pressed his palm against his lips, deep in thought as Shizuo mirrored his actions, the both of them staring intently at the tube between them.

Why did it feel like he was preparing himself for _the talk_? He’s not even married yet; he doesn’t even have a girlfriend yet, Tom though to himself in a panicked state. Why is getting ready for _the talk_ he doesn’t have kids of his own! But he couldn’t just leave his kohai in the dark; he couldn’t stay quiet about something like this, especially if it means that it was Shizuo’s first few steps into the sexual world. Tom sighed deeply, rubbing his forehead as he took a deep breath.

“Hey, Shizuo,” Tom started, bringing the blond out of his own thoughts. “Have you ever had a girl friend?”

Shizuo looked perplexed at the question. “Uh, yeah… Once in middle school,” he replied quietly, almost shyly. “It didn’t really last long though…”

Tom looked mildly surprised. “How far did you get with her?”

The tips of Shizuo’s ears burned red in embarrassment, though his face stayed very composed. “Holding hands, kissing,” he replied in a voice so quiet that Tom had to strain his ears to hear him. “But uh, I guess she got scared because of my strength,” he added with a slight shrug of his shoulders, feeling just a little despondent at the memory of that time.

Tom took a deep breath. “Shizuo, you… You know…” he struggled, scratching the back of his head in frustration. “You have masturbated before, right?” he blurted out, his cheeks tinting red as he asked. This was ridiculous, why was he embarrassed about talking about normal bodily functions anyways?

“!!!” Shizuo was too startled for words to come out of his mouth, his head darting back and forth to check if anyone had overheard the conversation. Luckily, it seemed like everyone else was too busy with their own conversations to really pay them any heed. Shizuo just had to keep his voice down. “I—“ he started, but already his voice was too loud no matter how hard he tried to keep it a whisper. “Tom-san—“ he tried again but still he could not control the volume of his voice, some heads turning when it caught their attention. So he nodded instead, feeling the heat of embarrassment crawl up his neck and spread though his cheeks. Why the fuck where they having this conversation???

Tom cleared his throat in an attempt to brush off the embarrassment he was feeling, but it didn’t really do much. “That,” he stated, pointing at the tube on the table as if it were something offensive “is supposed to help,” he concluded. He cleared his throat again and he just couldn’t bring himself to look Shizuo in the eyes at the moment. “And uh… It’s not just for yourself, it… When you have a partner, you—“

“Tom-san, please…!” Shizuo interrupted abruptly, standing up so suddenly that his chair clattered behind him, and this time all the attention was on him. “That—That’s more than enough information,” he said loudly, his fingers curling into fists and uncurling as he tried to calm himself down. If he weren’t so embarrassed he would have been mad, exceedingly mad at Shinra who probably gave this to him as a prank.

“Shi—Shizuo, sit down,” Tom instructed, waving his hands in a placating, pleading way. There were people here and there was a tube of lube on their table! They might get the wrong idea if Shizuo continued to draw their attention. “Calm down, okay?”

His gaze dropped to the ground, his jaw locked. Carefully and wordlessly, he turned around and set his chair upright before resuming his position in front of the table. He took in deep breaths and counted backwards slowly from 10.

It was Izaya who had asked him to do that one night at his apartment in Shinjuku; Shizuo was about to toss one of his bookshelves out the window in frustration. It might have been an act of desperation on Izaya’s part since it might have drawn too much attention to his home and the fact that Shizuo was in there. “ _Count backwards! Count with me, okay?! Ten. Nine. Eight—_

—Seven, six, five… four… three… two… one…” By the time Shizuo had reached one, his voice was back to its usual quiet state and the blush on his face had finally gone away. He took a deep breath, like counting had zapped all the energy he had.

Tom looked impressed. “Ah, good job, Shizuo,” he said after a moment of silence.

“Thanks,” Shizuo replied with a nod.

\-- -- --

Despite his protests, Shizuo ended up taking the stupid tube of lubrication home with him. Tom had said “just in case,” or something similar but he was sure that he wasn’t going to use it anyway.

Still, it felt like a heavy weight in his pocket.

He just wanted to go home, take a long hot shower and maybe eat that pudding cup he’d been saving.

Luck seemed to be against Shizuo today.

“Shizuo, what’s up?” Kadota asked casually, a small grin on his face.

Though Shizuo did like Kadota, his honesty and straightforwardness was something refreshing, it meant that those two otakus were near by. Sure enough, as soon as Shizuo had greeted him back, Karisawa popped up at Kadota’s right while Yumasaki popped up at his left. They bowed to him in a very synchronized way and grinned twin devil smiles that made him feel all sorts of upset.

“Nice to see you, Shizu-shizu!” Karisawa greeted happily, walking around him like he was prey and she was the predator. “We haven’t been seeing you around lately!”

“Indeed!” Yumasaki agreed, circling Shizuo in the same manner Karisawa was. “We’ve had several speculations regarding this disappearance of yours!”

“Like _The Disappearance of Hatsune Miku!_ ” Karisawa added, like they’ve been practicing finishing each other’s train of thoughts.

“No, no!” Yumasaki argued with a genuine looking frown on his face, his hands poised as if to explain. “It’s more like _The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumia!_ ” he said, nodding his head once as if to declare he was right. “You must be from an alternate timeline, isn’t that right?!”

“Oh! I see!” Karisawa nodded as well in agreement. “That’s why he’s been less angry lately huh!!” Then, turning her attention to Shizuo, she smiled. “Don’t worry, Shizu-shizu! We understand the predicament you’re in, so you don’t have to worry about explaining those things to us!”

Shizuo frowned, completely confused.

“Oi, you guys, don’t you think its about time you differentiated fantasy and reality,” Togusa called from where he was seated in his parked van. He was sweating nervously, worried that the otaku duo might trigger Shizuo’s temper. “Seriously, knock it off.”

“Don’t mind them too much,” Kadota said in a tired way, already used to his friends antics, and patted Shizuo’s shoulder comfortingly.

“Or maybe the rumors are true,” Karisawa said, ignoring both Togusa and Kadota’s words.

Yumasaki frowned slightly. “Ah, that’s not fair! Things always seem to be in your favor instead of mine,” he complained, and then turned to the blond in front of him. “Ne, Shizuo-san! You’d tell me, right? If a lovely and very attractive time traveler was helping you get back to your original timeline? Right? Right?” Yumasaki twirled and threw an arm over his eyes dramatically. “I’d love to kiss her, or maybe her sister!”

“O-oi,” Kadota tried to interrupt, but the two were on a roll.

Yumasaki continued on with his rant, about alien girls and their sisters and gaining some supernatural ability, throwing hypothesis after hypothesis in the air despite the fact that no one was actually listening to him. 

Karisawa, however, jumped into the van’s open door and began to dig through her stack of manga as she prattled on about this and that and Shizuo isn’t even sure anymore. She emerged after a minute or two, a small stack of manga in her arms. “ _You should read Junjou Romantica, Koisuru Boukun, Bukiyou na Silent, Boku no Ano Ko…_ ” The list went on as Karisawa slowly piled several manga into his arms and, to his horror, to top it all off, Karisawa reached into her pocket and placed a handful of condoms on top of the pile.

Kadota’s eyes went wide, as did Togusa who was now very carefully and quietly rolling up the windows of his van as a safety precaution.

“I—I don’t—Kadota—“ Shizuo stuttered, looking at his friend beseechingly. He wasn’t embarrassed this time, not so much anyway, but more mortified by what the girl in front of him was saying. She went on and on, not seeming to notice the fact that Shizuo had gone pale, his mouth hanging open in absolute horror.

Kadota, bless his soul, carefully took the stack of manga away from Shizuo and placed it back into the van. “I’m so sorry,” he said after a long while, not knowing what else to say.

Shizuo stood rooted to the spot, just too startled and mortified to move.

Sighing, Kadota placed his hands gently against Shizuo’s back and gave him a small push to prompt him into walking once more. “Don’t worry, I’ll handle these two so run away now while you can.”

“That kinda sounded like what a hero would say,” Togusa commented nervously.

“Ugh…”

And Shizuo did run, just because he couldn’t think of anything else to do except follow Kadota’s instructions. He was too confused, so very confused, that he couldn’t think straight but thankfully his legs did the thinking for him and before long his apartment building came into sight. He let out a sigh of relief that he didn’t know he was holding in and slowed his run back into a walk.

Shizuo jumped at the sudden ring of his phone, picking it up after he had composed himself. “The fuck is this, you better make it quick,” he instructed rather angrily. His day had gone from okay to absolute shit. He needed a smoke or something. So he pulled a cigarette out and stuck it in between his lips, lighting it before taking a deep drag. He felt slightly better.

“ _Ne, Shizu-chan, you sound upset_ ,” Izaya’s cheerful voice rang through the phone.

The former bartender huffed, blowing a plume of smoke above his head. “This better be good or I’m hanging up,” he said flatly. He made his way up the stairs slowly, waiting silently for Izaya’s reply.

“ _Is tonight a good night?_ ” Izaya asked, his usually teasing tone absent from his voice.

Shizuo grunted in response. “Yes.”

“ _Fantastic!_ ” Izaya cheered. “ _I’ll see you soon~!_ ”

As soon as Shizuo hung up his phone and reached the last step of the stairs, he looked up to find that Izaya was already standing in front of his apartment door as he pocketed his phone. He approached the information broker, blowing out one more plume of smoke above his head before finally crushing the cigarette underneath his shoe. “If I said no?” He asked.

“I would leave,” Izaya said with a shrug.

Shizuo sighed, stepped forward until he was right in front of Izaya and then he let his body sag against the shorter man, emotionally tired.

“Ahh, Shizu-chan,” Izaya complained, struggling to keep Shizuo from falling on top of him. “Shizu-chan I’ve told you before, you’re really heavy!”


	6. Warm scarves are made for a reason

“Oya, oya,” Izaya mutters softly, a curious and playful smile gracing his lips as Namie very carelessly wrapped a long red scarf around his neck. “Could this be a dream? Has Namie-chan finally fallen for me?”

Namie’s face was as staid as it always was as she retracted her hands away from her employer. “Keep dreaming,” she replied in her usual flat tone, her fine brows arching slightly in annoyance. “This scarf is imperfect therefore I’m giving it to an imperfect man.”

“Wah…” Izaya whined softly, a fake frown on his face as he adjusted the scarf more to his liking. “This is hand made?” At Namie’s nod, a smile was soon back on his face. “I knew it! Namie-chan really is the perfect housewife! So is this your declaration of love for me? Oh, but I haven’t even proposed to you yet!”

The scowl on the woman’s face deepened as she took a few steps back from Izaya, and she was so tempted to punch his face right then and there but she didn’t because she was a mature individual. Still, the thought of giving him a black eye gave her some sort of satisfaction that she didn’t voice. “Like I said, that scarf is a failure. I can’t give it to Seiji.”

“Oh poo,” Izaya huffed, though it didn’t really mean much. “You’ve broken my heart.”

“Wonderful,” She replied immediately. “It’s been getting cold lately,” She added as she made her way back to her desk, grabbing a stack of files before carefully opening one of them to read it’s contents. “Don’t get a cold, I’d rather not nurse you back to health.”

Izaya nodded in understanding, waving goodbye at his secretary as he left. “Don’t wait up for me!” He called over his shoulder, making his way down several flights of stairs faster than most people.

Today was a busy day for him and it’s only just begun and as much as he wanted to people watch, the vibrating in his pocket was enough to put that desire aside for the moment. Picking up his phone, he smiled as he spoke. “Shiki-san! Punctual as always,” he said into the receiver, already seeing the inconspicuous car coming around the corner to pick him up.

“I’d hate to make such a valuable asset such as yourself wait,” came the older man’s reply just as the car stopped in front of Izaya. The heavily tinted window rolled down and Shiki didn’t even bother to stick his head out. “Get in.”

“Yes, yes,” Izaya said politely, pulling the back seat door open as he let himself in. The car began to move as soon as he closed the door, and he immediately turned his attention to Shiki-san who was driving the car. “Is it just you and I today, Shiki-san?” There was already a knowing smirk on the informant’s face, as if he were already aware of the job that was going to be handed to him.

This didn’t go unnoticed by Shiki, but he chose to remain silent to that. “Indeed. It’s a rather personal matter and as much as possible I would like to keep the situation under my strict control,” he replied, briefly glancing at the rearview mirror to see Izaya’s smile grow wider. “I trust that you’ll take this matter seriously?”

“Of course,” Izaya replied, his hands shoved deep into his pockets as a calm and businesslike demeanor replaced his mischievous attitude. “After all, Shiki-san is one of my best customers. I’d hate to loose a business partner such as yourself.”

Shiki chucked softly, his eyes going back to the road. “You know, Orihara-san, I could get my men to be of service to you.” The informant was a very valuable asset indeed, but Shiki could never really fully trust him; it was like playing with a double-edged blade and he knew he had to be careful. “Your loyalty is all I ask.”

The informant pretended to be in deep thought before shaking his head like a child. “I’m sorry, but I’m going to pass on that,” he replied with a small smile. “That would be very limiting, and I’d rather not feel like a caged bird.”

“I see,” Shiki replied, not really surprised with the answer he received. “On to my concerns,” he said abruptly, like the previous conversation never really happened. “There is a manila envelope in the side pocket of the door, I’d like for you to take a look,” he instructed, the car coming to a stop in front of a red traffic light.

Izaya took the envelope and let his eyes breeze quickly through the content. Daisuke Matsunaga, 29. 182 cm. He was a charming looking man, Izaya noted, already memorizing the key details that he needed to remember. “This is a new face, isn’t it?”

Shiki nodded. “The group he belonged to recently dissolved. It’s a little audacious for him to join us so quickly, so I have my doubts.” He explained, carefully stepping on the gas as the traffic light turned green. “I’d rather not have this information leaked for now, not until there’s enough information to go by.”

The informant folded and tucked the papers into his coat, brushing himself down to make it looks like it wasn’t there. “You can count on me,” he replied with a smile. “Is there a due date for this task?”

“A week,” Shiki replied. “If possible, sooner.”

\-- -- --

Oddly enough, information regarding Matsunaga was easy to come by; he wasn’t really that interesting a person, and it didn’t seem like he bothered to hide his true identity. The people whom Izaya spoke with regarding the man thought highly of him, a supposed man of honor and Izaya got the feeling that Shiki needn’t worry about his new underling.

He typed a few details onto his phone, sending them to Namie for her to compile.

 

 

_Sender: Stupid Man [13:03]  
My dearest, please organize the data that I’ve sent to you and send it to our client as soon as possible.  <3_

_Sender: Pizza Delivery [13:04]  
You disgust me._

 

 

Izaya chucked to himself. He hadn’t anticipated for things to go so smoothly, so his afternoon was rather free. With a skip in his step, he happily made his way to Ikebukuro.

He checked the DOLLARS website, scrolling through several pages until he found the thread that he’s been visiting for quite a while now. It was still lively despite the lack of rumors regarding the situation, most of the comments now being that of BL lovers and overly gossipy people.

 

 

_[I made a new fanfiction of them! Would you guys like to read it?!]_

_[This is really getting out of hand don’t you think?]_

_[I’ve heard that they’ve know each other since high school.]_

_[I have a neighbor who was in their batch! They chased each other almost everyday, apparently.]_

_[It’s fate! Years and years of knowing each other, don’t you think by now they’ve done something more… Special?]_

_[Grosssssss]_

 

 

Izaya smiled, a new idea popping into his oh so clever mind. Quickly making a new account on the website, he re-entered the group to cause a little… Havoc.

 

 

_{Ne, ne. I think I saw them once on a date!}_

_[No way!? When was this?!]_

_{Quite recently, actually…}_

_{And I think I saw Orihara-san knitting! Can you believe it? Do you think he’s making something for that bartender? Isn’t it sweet?}_

_[No way!!!!!]_

_[You’re lying! No one has seen the informant for weeks!]_

_{It’s true, it’s true! I swear on my life!}_

 

 

Izaya pulled out another phone from his pocket, barely containing the excitement he was feeling. He scrolled through the contacts until he found Shizuo’s name and pressed the call button, waiting patiently for the blond to pick up his call.

_”Hello?? Isn’t it too early?”_ Shizuo grumbled. _”Unless this is a shit call, in which case I’ll have to beat you up.”_

Izaya laughed amiably into the receiver, sandwiching his phone between his ear and his shoulder as he carefully placed another one of his phones on top of a dumpster and arranged it so that it would be hidden. “No, no. Nothing like that, Shizu-chan. But I need for you to meet me near Russian Sushi, okay? Right this very instant.”

_“Right now!?”_ Shizuo all but growled. _“I’m busy.”_

“Right now,” Izaya replied sternly, like a mother scolding a child. “Don’t keep me waiting.”

_“Flea, you—“_

Izaya hung up before Shizuo could properly retort and smiled widely. He leaned against the wall as a few chuckles began to escape him, the chuckles escalating into full force laughs, his body shaking hard as the laughter escaped him. Today was going to be great.

\-- -- --

After very politely asking Tom for a break, Shizuo made his way to their meeting spot. He wasn’t sure what it was Izaya wanted and he’s not sure if he can trust that it’s not trouble. If its trouble, he reasoned, he could always just beat the shit out of Izaya anyway so he supposed that for now he would play according to the flea’s plans.

As he neared the restaurant, he saw Izaya wave at him from a nearby alleyway. He plucked his cigarette away from his lips, crushing it under his foot as he quickly made his way towards Izaya without being noticed. As soon as he was close enough, Izaya had grabbed him by the sleeve and pulled him deeper into the alley and away from eyes that might be looking. He was slightly grateful for that, but he was a little bit pissed at how Izaya was practically dragging him. “What the hell, louse?”

“I don’t want people to see us together, you know!” Izaya explained, looking over his shoulder just to make sure that no one had followed them.

“So, okay,” Shizuo started, his frown still on his face as he pulled his sleeve away from Izaya’s grasp. “You’re here, I’m here. So now what?” He asked, deeply confused. Izaya usually called at night. They both usually called at night so it was very weird to Shizuo that Izaya had called him so early in the day. “Do… Do you want to take an afternoon nap or something?”

Izaya blinked once, his eyes wide in slight shock before laughter took over again. “A nap? Hahaha! We’re not children, Shizu-chan!”

Shizuo grumbled in response, a little embarrassed. “Shut up. What do you want, anyway?”

“Well,” Izaya replied after his laughter died down. “It’s been getting pretty cold lately, ne?” He asked, his eyes darting to the side very quickly before his eyes were back on Shizuo.

The former bartender nodded in agreement. “I guess?” Shizuo’s tolerance for the cold was very high, so he didn’t really notice. “This is something you could have said over the phone.”

“Ah, come on, Shizu-chan,” Izaya whined, carefully unwinding the scarf from his neck. He smiled, reaching forward so he could wrap the scarf around Shizuo the same way Namie had earlier that morning. “No one likes being cold, ne? And out of the goodness of my heart, I’m giving you my precious scarf to keep you warm. Aren’t I an angel?”

This time it was Shizuo who blinked. And then he blinked again. Once more, just to make sure. And then he pinched his own arm to make sure that he wasn’t dreaming.

His hands reached up to the scarf bundled up around his neck and it was soft and fluffy and smelt… Well, it smelt really good for some reason. “This is for me?” he asked, incredulously. He’s never received a gift before, nothing like that anyway, and it honestly shocked him. “Really?”

“Of course!” Izaya said happily, his hand linking behind his back like a mischievous child. “Hmm, consider it a sort of thank you for letting me sleep with you!”

“Uh… Uhm…” Shizuo replied, not completely sure how he was supposed to react. “Th.. Thanks.”

“No problem, no problem!” Izaya told him excitedly, pushing the taller man out of the alleyway. “Now off to work with you, Shizu-chan! You wouldn’t want Tanaka-san to worry now, would you?”

Shizuo nodded and left almost as quickly as he came, leaving Izaya smiling like an idiot.

As soon as the bodyguard was out of sight, Izaya made his way to his phone that recorded their exchange. Pulling himself up to sit on top of the dumpster, he quickly edited the video into a six second clip of him wrapping the ridiculously long scarf around Shizuo’s neck. The camera had been positioned so that his and Shizuo’s faces wouldn’t be seen, but it was obvious enough that it was the two of them together.

With a little happy chirp, he uploaded the video onto the thread and closed his phone, kicking his legs a few times before jumping off the dumpster. He walked out of the alleyway and smiled when he spotted Simon’s back, tapping the larger man on the shoulder that he barely reached. “Yo, Simon.”

“Ohh, Izaya! Good to see you, very busy?” The Russian asked, his usual friendly smile on his face.

“Lately yes, but I’m free right now!” he told him. “What’s new on the menu?”

 

 

_[IS THIS REAL? TELL ME THIS IS REAL!]_

_[It can’t be? You can’t see their faces! Maybe they’re just people who look like them!]_

_[oh my god!]_

_[I just saw heiwajima-san! He was wearing the scarf!]_

_[So it really was them!?]_

_{I saw Orihara-san wearing that scarf when he walked into an alley! Then he came back out without it!}_

_[SO IT’S TRUE, RIGHT?]_

 

 

\-- -- --

When Izaya got home, just as he closed the door, he let out a rather loud sneeze. “I-I’m home!” he called, sniffling slightly as he took off his coat.

Namie frowned at him, noticing the lack of scarf and the presence of red cheeks and a runny nose. “You really are a stupid man.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Several things:  
> 1\. I love Izaya and Namie as best friends  
> 2\. I love Shiki-san, but that scene with him wasn't really important. I just wanted to write Shiki-san.  
> 3\. Namie is listed as Pizza Delivery and this is canon. It's supposedly to keep Namie safe <3  
> 4\. This chapter feels a little bit forced... Hopefully the next one will be better.  
> 5\. Remember the Russian client that Izaya was speaking to? I kinda want to make an AU where it's Psych and he's over to visit his siblings. Maybe in another fic.


	7. Death is an Illusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut ahead. Very poorly written smut.

Izaya awoke to the sound of Shizuo gasping beside him, the blond having jerked awake in what Izaya could only assume to be a bad or weird dream. He turned his head in the dark, looking over at Shizuo who was trying to catch his breath with his knuckles pressed against his lips. “Is everything alright, Shizu-chan?” Izaya murmured quietly, watching Shizuo’s expression carefully.

It must have been a really bad dream; he’s never seen that sort of expression on Shizuo’s face before. Then again, most of the expressions he’s seen from Shizuo were those of anger and hatred, and only just recently peace. It was odd to see so many different expressions on him.

Shizuo jumped slightly at the sound of Izaya’s voice, snapping his head to look at the informant. “Ugh,” he groaned, rubbing his hand against his face as he tried to clear his mind. “Weird dream,” he replied in a quiet voice, sitting up to hold his head in his hands. He couldn’t quite remember what happened, but his heart was beating loudly in his ears and hard in his chest. “I think I fell or something,” he said after a moment. “Need a smoke.”

At that Izaya sat up as well, his hand reaching over to flick on the lamp that sat near Shizuo’s bed. It was two in the morning and still pretty chilly so he gathered the sheets around him like a cocoon, stealing the blanket away from Shizuo’s lap. “Don’t smoke inside,” he instructed, glaring slightly at the pack of cigarettes that Shizuo had picked up from the windowsill.

“My roof, my rules,” Shizuo grunted, lighting up a cigarette despite Izaya’s objection. He opened the window, however, and let his hand hang out with the cigarette pinched between his fingers.

“Agh!” Izaya yelped, pulling the sheets over this head as the cool night air washed into the room. “It’s so cold! So cold!” he complained, hiding behind Shizuo to block the cold breeze. “You stupid protozoan, I’ll freeze to death!” He whined, a chain of mumbled complaints escaping his lips as Shizuo ignored him.

The former bartender stood up, the cigarette hanging from his lips, and walked over to his dresser. He pulled it open and dug around a bit, pulling a pair of socks out before tossing them over at the other man shivering on his bed. “You’re like an old lady,” he commented, taking another drag of his smoke before he sat down at the foot of the bed, watching Izaya idly as he put the socks on.

Izaya rolled his eyes, the socks a little bit too big for him but they served their purpose of being warm. “Huu..” he whined quietly, scooting closer to Shizuo because the damned brute was like a human heater and Izaya absolutely hated the cold.

It was quiet for a few minutes before Izaya broke the silence. “What else do you remember about your dream?”

Shizuo looked out the window contemplatively, the cigarette in his fingers finally dying out. He pulled out another one and lit it, trying his best to remember his dream. “I fell, and I kept falling,” he said quietly, brows furrowed as he tried to remember. “I think I might have died?”

“Ne, Shizu-chan,” Izaya started, watching the smoke rise from the tip of Shizuo’s cigarette indolently. “Did you know there is a hypothesis that when you dream of your death, it’s actually another version of yourself dying?” he asked, wrapping his arms around his folded legs, pressing his cheek to his knees as he shifted his gaze from the smoke to Shizuo’s face. “I suppose it was born from the multiuniverse theory, and it’s a pretty interesting concept, don’t you think?” He chuckled quietly. “But who’s to say you’re the alpha? How do you know which you is the real you?”

Shizuo remained silent, not really knowing what to say.

“I’ve had countless dreams where I’ve died. Incongruously, they’re never as brutal as I’ve thought,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders. “I’ve always assumed I’d be shot to death, maybe poisoned… Maybe even by your hands,” he continued, a curious grin stretching across his face as he watched Shizuo’s expression shift slightly. “But in my dreams, it’s usually funny things. Terminal sickness, a car running me over by mistake… Accidents, you know?”

“It’s weird that you think of the ways you could die,” Shizuo muttered, interrupting Izaya before he could continue with his morbid train of thought.

“Ah, well… I like to be prepared,” Izaya replied with a quiet laugh that had his shoulders shaking. “In the face of death, I’d rather maintain my dignity.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Shizuo asked, stubbing his cigarette against the windowsill. 

“Shizu-chan,” Izaya said, purposely ignoring Shizuo’s question. “When humans die, what happens? Do they go to heaven or hell? Valhalla? Perhaps Nirvana or at the river of Styx?” he counted off on his fingers. “So many possible places to end up, and it gives off a sense of infinity, doesn't it? Of course there are cases of reincarnation as well, so I can’t possibly rule that out.”

“Where are you going with this?” Shizuo grumbled, rather annoyed at the fact that his question was ignored. “Heaven, hell, what does it matter? You’re dead.”

“Ah, you’re so simple minded after all,” Izaya sighed like he was disappointed.

“You’re thinking too much,” Shizuo retorted. “We’re still young you know, we ain’t dying any time soon.”

Izaya’s body jerked into a more upright position, and it startled Shizuo slightly. “Ah, but you don’t know that, Shizu-chan! It makes life more exciting, don’t you think?”

Shizuo scowled. “I guess if you’re fucked up enough to think like that…”

“Hahaha, shut up, Shizu-chan,” Izaya laughed with a grin on his face. “But as I was saying, if there is some sort of life in the afterlife, why are people so afraid to die?”

“You’re thinking too much—“ Shizuo tried to say again, but Izaya seemed to be persistent to continue.

“Ahh, I just don’t understand it. No matter how many people I observe, no matter how many people I ask, I never get an answer that can satisfy me. It’s so weird and wonderful in a way! It makes my heart beat faster and faster and faster in excitement, watching people stumble over their words and question their lives and morality and mortality—“ he laughed then, a very loud and long laugh, it almost sounded hysteric.

“Be _quiet_ ,” Shizuo hissed, pressing his palm against Izaya’s mouth, pressing too hard until Izaya was flat on his back. Despite that though, Izaya’s body continued to shake with his silenced laughter. It annoyed Shizuo greatly and it took all of his self-control to stop himself from giving the informant a few good punches to his face to fix the loose screw in his head.

After the laugher finally died down, Izaya patted at the hand covering his mouth. When Shizuo hesitantly pulled his hand back, Izaya drew in a breath. “I could have suffocated,” he deadpanned, but it was followed by one short burst of breath that was probably a laugh.

“You’re a pest and pests don't die so easily,” Shizuo argued but drew in a breath to calm his nerves. “You’re crazy.”

“Eccentric is a better wordy to use,” Izaya chided, pulling the sheets over himself once more before shutting the lamp off. “Lay back down, Shizu-chan. It’s time to sleep.”

\-- -- --

Izaya woke up to the sound of Shizuo gasping beside him.

Again.

He let out a quiet little sigh, turning over to look at Shizuo. His eyes briefly darted to the window to notice that the sky was still a little dark. He reached his arm over, patting Shizuo’s cheek in an attempt to calm him down. For some odd reason, patting his cheek always seemed to work. “Shizu-chan, you’re fine,” he mumbled, but belatedly noticed that Shizuo felt a little warmer under his fingertips.

“Uh,” Shizuo replied, letting his hand fall over the one patting his cheek, stilling it. “Yeah…”

Upon feeling Shizuo’s hand on his own, Izaya definitely noticed that he was warmer than usual. He pulled his hand back and sat up, letting his eyes adjust to the dark until he could make out the shape of Shizuo’s body under the sheets and the look of frustration etched on the bodyguard’s face. “Are you sick?” he asked, moving to switch the lamp on again.

“N-no!” Shizuo stammered, sitting up abruptly to grab Izaya’s wrist before he could turn the lights on. “I’m—“

“Oh,” Izaya said quietly, feeling something very noticeable poking at his thigh. With his free hand, he turned the lights on to confirm his suspicions and saw that Shizuo was indeed fine, but there was a rather obvious bulge in between his legs. “Goodness…”

“Fuck,” Shizuo hissed, pulling his hand away from Izaya so he could press it against his face in embarrassment. “Don’t laugh—“

“Oh please, Shizu-chan. I’m not a child,” Izaya cooed, pulling at Shizuo’s wrist to look at his face. It’s a new expression, one that he finds very likeable; face blushed in embarrassment and arousal, his eyes downcast and avoidant. It was a very petulant look, one that Izaya couldn’t help but find cute. “No need to be embarrassed about something so normal.”

Despite Izaya’s words, Shizuo’s face still burned red. “It’s normal, yeah,” Shizuo agreed with a slight nod of his head, his eyes still refusing to look up at Izaya. He didn’t want to know what kind of fact the other man had so he chose to look at his fist curled around the sheets. “It’s normal but that doesn’t make it any less embarrassing. Shit.”

Shizuo did not know what to do; he could get up and go to the bathroom to deal with his problem in private, but the awkwardness of the situation was enough to keep him rooted to the spot. He could deal with his problem right then and there, but how could he when there was someone beside him, the flea no less?! The only thing he could really do now was to sit and be quiet, and try to think of things that were in no way sexy.

Porcelain dolls. Those were creepy. Those annoying love struck fools from work, those were really annoying.

But before he could think of any more distracting thoughts, Izaya’s hands were upon his face once more, forcing him to look at the informant in the eyes. It was really hard to do, and Izaya’s fingers against his skin felt so cool in contrast to the heat pooling in several places all over his body. He shuddered.

“Need help?” Izaya purred quietly, his hands dragging down Shizuo’s face lightly, down his neck and chest before his fingers curled around the material of his shirt. “I don’t mind,” Izaya cooed at Shizuo’s startled face.

Shizuo’s mouth opened and closed, his brain trying to come up with words to say.

“Are you a virgin?” Izaya asked quietly, his hands resting on Shizuo’s thighs as he very gently moved his thumbs in comforting circles. He watched Shizuo’s face in interest, though he decided for now that he would lay off teasing him. “It’s okay, Shizu-chan. Like I said, you don’t have to be embarrassed…”

Shizuo relented, his head dropping down from Izaya’s gaze as his fists curled around the sheets tightly. “Un,” he answered, one short nod of his head.

Maybe it was because he was still half asleep, or maybe it was because of his hormones messing with his thoughts. Shizuo felt his heart beat hard, his body feeling like it was on fire. Izaya hadn’t even done anything yet and he felt like he couldn’t bear it anymore.

Izaya let out an exasperated little breath but he had an almost gentle looking smile on his face. He let his fingers slide up and under the waistband of Shizuo’s underwear, pulling them down low enough to expose Shizuo’s arousal. With careful and feather light touches, Izaya wrapped his fingers around him, slowly pumping at Shizuo’s length. “I’ll be very gentle,” he cooed against Shizuo’s ear, twisting his body so that his free arm could wrap around Shizuo’s waist in a comforting hold.

Shizuo grunted. As if Izaya’s fingers weren’t cold enough, that stupid ring of his felt like ice against his skin and he couldn’t help but let a hiss escape through clenched teeth. He didn’t know what to do with his hands, he didn’t know where to put them, so he sat still as Izaya’s hand moved on him. His hips bucked and jerk whenever Izaya’s hand moved a little bit too quickly for his liking and he a low moan rumbled deep within his chest as the informant’s thumb brushed against the tip of his head. “I-izaya…”

Though Izaya’s original intent was to help Shizuo out with his problem then get back to sleep, he couldn’t help but feel a heat stir and coil in the pit of his stomach. The faces Shizuo made at every movement of his hand was driving him crazy in a way he never though Shizuo could make him feel and it was both upsetting and exciting at the same time.

He gave Shizuo’s member a parting squeeze before pulling his hand back, committing to memory the confused look that was on Shizuo’s face. “I want to have fun too,” he explained, pushing the sheets back to deal with his own growing problem.

As he began to pleasure himself he let out a short laugh, honestly amused with the situation he was in. There were so many thoughts teeming in his head, some he actively chose to ignore and others that he let himself delve in; the thought that reigned loudest in his mind was the fact that Shizuo was a virgin.

It wasn’t that it was funny, he kind of expected Shizuo to lack a sexual life because of his infamy. Still, what surprised him was the fact that Shizuo was like a completely different person from the one he knew. The Shizuo beside him was shy and confused, and it was almost like he was looking at a lost puppy.

He’s been associating Shizuo with a puppy more often than he’d like to admit.

A warm hand around his own was what brought him out of his train of thoughts, his head snapping up to look at Shizuo whom still had his eyes downcast. He was focused, and his hand was firm around his as it helped him move over his erection. Izaya’s toes curled, his back arching slightly as a surge of pleasure coursed through him. “Ah…. Haha…” 

The informant pulled his hand free from Shizuo’s, wrapping both arms around the bodyguard’s neck to pull him close. Their noses brushed against each other’s and Izaya looked into his eyes and smiled, pulling the taller man on top of him as he let out a laugh. He parted his legs to accommodate Shizuo who settled in between them, his face still shocked from the whole situation. “I’ll lead you through this, okay?” he murmured against Shizuo’s neck and smiled at the shudder he was responded with.

Shizuo planted both his arms on either side of Izaya, staring down at the flushed face that continued to smile at him. He gulped, his head slumping forward until it rested against Izaya’s shoulder as he let out a pant. “Fuck,” he murmured against the fabric of Izaya’s shirt. “Fuck.”

“Patience, Shizu-chan,” Izaya laughed breathlessly, bringing his fingers up and into his mouth, coating them in saliva. “Safe sex, and all that,” he added, and it still sounded like he was laughing.

Shizuo turned his head, watching as Izaya slowly licked and sucked at his own fingers. He blinked, trying to understand why Izaya would be doing that until it finally clicked in his mind.

He sat up rather tersely, the springs of the bed squeaking in protest as Izaya let out a startled yelp. He reached over the bedside table and pulled the drawer open, pulling out Shinra’s gracious gift. He stared at it, and then at Izaya and then raised his eyebrows. “Will this help?”

Izaya paused everything he was doing, a startled look encompassing his features. “Why do you have that,” he asked, a smile slowly, slowly, making his way to his lips until he was laughing once more, unable to stop himself. It was such a shock that he almost didn’t notice the lost look on Shizuo’s face.

“Shinra gave it,” Shizuo mumbled, feeling a little stupid for some reason but he reminded himself that this was Izaya, and Izaya laughed at a lot of things. “Oi, be quiet. You might wake the neighbors up.”

“Yes, yes,” Izaya chuckled, taking the tube from Shizuo’s hands before flicking it open. He applied the lube very generously onto his fingers before dipping them down, down past his arousal and against his entrance. His fingers carefully circled around the ring of tight muscles, and thought it was always a weird feeling to have fingers in his ass, he couldn’t help but stare at the bewildered look on Shizuo’s face. “If you stare like that I’ll be embarrassed,” he teased, smiling wide when Shizuo’s head snapped up to look at him.

Before he could properly prep himself, he pulled his fingers out. “Shizu-chan,” he called, snapping Shizuo out of his daze. “This is your first time.”

“Stop reminding me,” Shizuo muttered dejectedly.

“No, no, I’m not teasing,” Izaya reassured him. “I’ll let this be a learning experience for you; you have to stretch me,” he instructed, one hand reaching for the lube while the other grabbed at Shizuo’s wrist. With a practiced sort of ease, he dripped a copious amount of fluid onto Shizuo’s fingers. “Now do what I did. You were paying close attention, weren’t you?”

Shizuo stilled. “I… I might hurt you.”

Without him being aware, Izaya frowned. Shizuo always managed to surprise him and though usually it would amuse him, now he found that he was a little bit confused and his confusion only made him annoyed. Shizuo has been wanting to hurt him for the longest of times, and now that he had the chance to its what was making him worry.

Misinterpreting the scowl on Izaya’s face as a no, Shizuo began to pull back.

He was surprised when Izaya grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him hard.

“No,” he stated, the frown leaving his face. “No. Just… Go slow, be gentle, be careful,” he told him, taking Shizuo’s wrist into his hand to guide his fingers down to his entrance. “If it hurts, I’ll tell you so don’t worry.”

Even with Izaya’s reassurances, Shizuo felt hesitant. But Izaya seemed intent to pull through with this, and to say that he wasn’t aching for satisfaction would be a lie. So after taking in a deep breath, he pushed a single digit into Izaya, watching his face for non-verbal cues. He pushed and moved his finger to the knuckle, pulling it back and forth slowly before adding a second and not long after a third.

Izaya panted, one hand curling around the bed sheets beneath him while his other hand curled around the fabric of Shizuo’s shirt. The blond was moving at an agonizingly slow pace, his fingers barely brushing against the sensitive bundle of nerves within him. He hissed out a swear, bucking his hips up in hopes of getting the fingers to move deeper. “Jesus,” he gasped, frustrated. “Shizu-chan you’re being too gentle..!”

Shizuo grumbled, not too sure how he should react to that. While he was happy that he could be in control to some extent, he was a little frustrated that Izaya didn’t appreciate just how difficult it was to stay composed. With a tug from Izaya’s hand, Shizuo retracted his fingers. “Now what…?”

“Oh my god,” Izaya replied exasperatedly. He sat up, pouring a copious amount of lubrication on Shizuo’s shaft, using his hand to spread it. It was cold, and he could see the way Shizuo shivered, so he kept pumping at it, trying to get the fluid to warm up.

When they were both ready, Izaya let himself down on the bed again, spreading his legs. He watched carefully as Shizuo positioned himself, the brute seemingly knowing what to do now without his prompting. Sex was a natural thing, after all, and after Shizuo had gotten over his initial nerves, he started to move, pushing himself into Izaya’s heat slowly and carefully. When he was fully sheathed, he waited for a moment, letting Izaya adjust to his size.

Shizuo was… Well, Izaya can’t say he’s surprised at the bodyguard’s size. He was filled, his walls stretched to accommodate Shizuo. His arms moved to wrap around Shizuo’s shoulders, clinging onto him tightly as he gave a single nod.

Sex with Shizuo was slow and gentle, exactly how Izaya had told him to go. Izaya hadn’t anticipated feeling _that_ good; after all, he’s had more experience and for an absolute beginner at this, Shizuo wasn’t half bad.

He was great.

Izaya had barely kept in his moans as Shizuo moved at an agonizingly slow pace, only picking up speed at Izaya’s instruction.

Ikebukuro’s most feared man, the man who could lift a vending machine like it was nothing, was very sweet in bed. Exceedingly so. So sweet that the heat on Izaya’s face was half because of the pleasure that shook his body, the other half because of how careful his partner was being. He’s been with several partners, but out of all of them Shizuo was definitely the most attentive.

It was cute.

They were both late for work the next day, but Shizuo didn’t get angry once and Izaya had the biggest and most genuine smile he’s ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How the hell do you write smut, I killed myself writing this my GOD.  
> I'm.... v sorry :')


	8. Obsessive secretaries and sweet packages

The first person that discovered their sexual relationship was none other than Namie Yagiri herself.

The smell of freshly brewed coffee was what stirred Izaya from his slumber and as he blinked his eyes open to stare at the ceiling of his apartment. It was Wednesday, if he remembered correctly. He turned his head to the other body on his bed, breathing softly and slowly in peaceful sleep. He let himself smile.

“Good morning.”

Izaya jumped at the voice, jerking his head towards the origin of the voice.

Namie was crouched by his bedside, a cup of fresh coffee held in her pretty hands. The look on her face was flat but with each second that ticked by, the corner of her lips would rise ever so slowly. She wordlessly handed the coffee to her employer, tucking a lock of her long hair behind her ear as she watched him take three big gulps.

“Good morning,” Izaya replied. He looked at the post coital state of himself and the man beside him, letting out a relenting sigh. He wasn’t at all embarrassed at the fact that he was nude underneath the blanket, and he didn’t mind in the very least that Namie was there watching him so carefully. “How long have you been here?”

She stood up then, moving to sit at the edge of the bed next to him. “It’s rather rude of you to wake up late on a work day,” she commented, crossing one leg over the other.

“So sorry, so sorry,” Izaya apologized in a light tone as he stifled a yawn. “What time is it?”

“Seven,” she replied, observing the clothes that were so carelessly thrown to the ground.

Izaya pouted. “It’s not late,” he complained, shoving lightly at Namie’s back with his shoulder. “You’re so cruel, Namie.”

Namie let herself laugh quietly as she stood up, and then turned to face her employer. “Does your… _pet_ want coffee?” She asked, a smirk tugging at her lips. It’s not that she was mocking Izaya or anything, she just found the situation too amusing but she can’t say she’s surprised. Maybe it was a woman’s intuition.

“He prefers milk with a little coffee, actually,” Izaya replied with a curt nod. “And maybe two sugars.”

“The tastes of a child,” Namie scoffed, flipping her hair off her shoulder in a very intimidating looking way. “You have a lot of work piled up today, _Orihara-san_ ,” she called over her shoulder as she pulled the door open. “You don’t have the time to waste with your friend there,” she said with a mischievous tone that was barely there. 

The informant scoffed, a grin on his face. As he took another sip of his coffee, he began to shake Shizuo awake. “Shizu-chan,” he said a little loudly. “Wakey-wakey! We have work today so you can’t be late again!”

Shizuo grumbled softly, curling in on himself for a few seconds before he let out a relenting sigh. Regretfully, he sat up and stretched his arms above his head, the sheets that were covering him pooling at his lap. He scratched the back of his head as he yawned, slumping forward as he let out a breath. “What time izzit?” he muttered.

“Seven,” Izaya informed him happily. “You still have to get back to Ikebukuro so you should get up now,” he told him, finally finishing his coffee. “You can bathe first,” he smiled, reaching down for Shizuo’s button up shirt that hung on the foot of the bed and then put it on.

Shizuo was about to get up from bed but he froze the moment the door opened.

Namie stared at the blond who was staring back at her with wide and startled eyes, like a deer caught in the headlights. She stopped herself from laughing and maintained a very professional look. “Good morning, Heiwajima-san,” she greeted politely, walking over to the bed to hand over the glass of milk and two packets of sugar.

Shizuo’s gaze darted from Namie, to the glass of milk, to Izaya who was smirking at him like he was totally amused. He probably was.

“Don’t keep me waiting,” Namie said sternly, pushing the glass into Shizuo’s hands. Then she turned to Izaya, her arms folding over her chest as they usually were. “And you. Move your ass,” she instructed before leaving the two alone to get started on her own work.

When the door clicked closed after Namie left, Shizuo finally found his voice. “What the fuck…”

“It’s just Namie,” Izaya said with a dismissive wave of his hand. He swung his legs out of bed and stretched himself, wiggling his toes as he waited for Shizuo to move. “You better hurry, Namie gets mad pretty easily,” he all but giggled as he stood up, watching with an amused smirk as Shizuo dumped the sugar into the milk before gulping it down.

They both bathed and got ready for the day, walking out of Izaya’s room together. Izaya looked happy, as per usual, while Shizuo still looked a little bit embarrassed at the fact that a girl had almost all of his bare skin.

Namie was clicking away at her laptop, her eyes moving up once to meet Izaya’s playful gaze and then Shizuo’s embarrassed one. She tried not to laugh but her lips did crawl into a smile. She jerked her head towards the kitchen, and Izaya immediately understood her unspoken command.

They ate breakfast quickly and as Shizuo stood up to leave for work, he froze at Namie’s voice.

“Good bye, Heiwajima-san. I hope that you can drop by again,” she said politely with a wave of her hand. Izaya followed suit and waved at Shizuo from his spot in front of his desktop.

The bodyguard stuttered and stumbled over his words before waving back at the two before leaving.

As soon as Shizuo’s footsteps were gone, Namie laughed.

“Don’t tease him too much,” Izaya scolded her with an amused look on his face. “That’s my job, after all.”

\-- -- --

The situation exceeded his expectations, though he should be used to that by now since it was Shizuo he was talking about.

He worked long and hard into the night for impatient and demanding clients, and while he could always just brush them off, he knew better than to do that. Some of his clientele, after all, were very powerful people and to cross them would be a bad idea.

He had fallen asleep as soon as he was done, too tired to even converse with Shizuo who was looking at him curiously like he wanted to ask him if he was alright. But Shizuo has always been the quiet type and for that he was thankful since he didn’t feel like talking, he just felt the headache pounding against his skull and the slight stinging of his eyes from staring at the computer screen for so long.

He slept dreamlessly, but comfortably. Shizuo always served to be the perfect teddy bear.

It’s the first time since they started their truces that Izaya wakes up to an empty bed.

It was a Sunday, and they were both supposedly free from work so Izaya found it odd that Shizuo was missing. The brute tended to sleep in when he could, and he closed his eyes as he wracked his brain for any information that Shizuo might have given him. Was he perhaps visiting Yuhei-kun? Or did he have some other appointment that Izaya forgot about? But that's impossible, seeing as Izaya had a perfect memory.

He was snapped out of his train of thoughts when he heard noises coming from his kitchen.

The sun outside shone brightly and judging by its position in the sky it was probably still early in the morning. Izaya sauntered to the window to let the sunlight hit him, relishing in the warmth on his skin as he stretched his body and rolled his shoulders, quietly enjoying the peaceful morning.

A clatter from the kitchen and the smell of something burning was what grabbed at his attention. With raised eyebrows he exited his room to find a quaint little scene that he would have never imagined in his entire lifetime.

Sitting at the island in his kitchen was none other than Shizuo Heiwajima, watching attentively as Namie Yagiri stirred batter in a bowl. Upon closer inspection, Namie was making both cookies and cupcakes, and it seemed that Shizuo was acting as her taste tester.

“G…good morning,” Izaya greeted, looking distastefully at the many sweets that littered the island. “Why are you here, Namie? You have today off…” he wondered out loud. “Are you abusing my electricity?”

“Yes,” came the very quick and shameless reply.

“Ah…” Izaya replied drolly, walking over to assess the damage done to his kitchen. While Namie was an excellent cook, he wasn’t too sure about her skills in regards to baking. Then again, cookies and cupcakes are easy to make.

The countertop was dusted in flour and various other ingredients; cracked eggshells carefully out of the way, cookie trays waiting to be shoved off into the oven, and funnily enough a pile reserved for burnt and failed products.

“So there is something that the great Namie can’t do,” he commented, picking up a burnt cookie. It was heart shaped, and he could only assume that these cookies were meant for her dear brother.

“Those are for you,” Namie stated when she noticed Izaya curiously picking up the burned cookies. “You like things bitter, right?”

“Ah,” Izaya said quietly, a frown on his face. He wasn’t too sure if Namie was teasing him or if she meant it. Nonetheless, he took a bite of the failure and made a face. It was gross.

“Heiwajima-san,” Namie called for his attention, and Shizuo looked away from the oven where a batch of cupcakes were cooking. She handed him the bowl she was holding. “The dough is rather difficult to mix, so if you would.”

Shizuo took the bowl and began to stir it idly, his attention drifting back to the cupcakes. “Just how many do you plan on making?” he asked. The cupcakes in the oven were already her third batch, and though they tasted a little bit bland they weren’t bad.

“As many as I need to achieve a perfect batch,” she replied, another bowl in her hand as she distributed the cupcake batter into the cupcake tin.

“Well, they’re pretty good already…” Shizuo muttered, setting the bowl he was holding aside when the ingredients were completely combined. “As much as I love sweets, I think I might reach my limit.”

Izaya chuckled, dipping his finger in the batter to taste. He wasn’t a fan of sweets, but he knew now that Namie wasn’t half bad at baking. “You truly are the perfect house wife,” Izaya commented with a grin as he walked to the cupboard and pulled out the salt. He handed it over to Namie who raised her eyebrows in question. “You put a pinch of salt,” he told her knowingly. “It will taste better.”

Namie frowned, not really trusting his words. But before she could tell him he was stupid, Izaya had already added the salt. “You—“ she started and it almost sounded like a growl.

“Trust me,” Izaya said with a grin.

Namie would never admit it, but the salt seemed to do the trick. She didn’t thank him or Shizuo and after packing up her perfect batch of cupcakes and cookies, she left with a simple good bye.

Izaya looked at the mess in his kitchen and sighed.

Shizuo looked at the small pile of cupcakes and cookies in disdain. He already had too many. “What are you going to do about that?” he asked, pointing at the mass of sweets. “Cause I ain’t eating anymore.”

“Urgh…” Izaya replied. “We could dump them on Shinra,” he suggested, already looking for containers to store the sweets. “Or perhaps you could give them to your brother? Maybe even Tanaka-san,” he continued to suggest, stuffing the cupcakes and cookies rather haphazardly into containers. “As long as they’re not here, I don’t care where they go.”

\-- -- --

When Celty received a message from Izaya to pick up and deliver a package for him, she certainly did not expect what she was given.

[Are these poisoned?] She asked, nervously eyeing the package given to her.

Izaya laughed, shaking his head. “Nah, I don’t think they are. Shizu-chan taste tested them and he’s fine,” he told her as he began to pile a few more boxes on top of the first one. “Then again, he’s a monster so there’s no knowing if poisons could actually affect his body.”

Celty paused at the comment. Shizuo taste tested them. Shizuo was with Izaya baking things??? Maybe she heard wrong, or perhaps there was another Shizu-chan that Izaya was acquainted with. But Izaya called him a monster, and there is only really one other person than herself that Izaya referred to as a monster. [Shizuo did?] She finally typed out.

At that Izaya paused, seeming to realize his mistake. He waved his hand indifferently as he laughed. “Never you mind,” he told her. “These are completely safe.”

As she turned the corner, about to leave Izaya’s line of sight, she could have sworn she saw Shizuo join him at the sidewalk.

Was… Was it really Shizuo standing next to Izaya…?

……..Nah…


	9. Confessions

Everyone paused, which was a feat within itself really, as they watched the two most feared men in Ikebukuro facing each other down. The two were only a few feet away from each other; Shizuo’s usual infuriated scowl, Izaya’s trademark grin.

Silence.

 

 

**[Several hours earlier, Ikebukuro]**

 

 

If there was one thing Izaya was good at, it was control. He prided himself in it, gave himself little words of praise whenever one of his premeditated works of art go exactly according to plan. He can count on his fingers the number of times his plans have gone wrong and each and every one of those plans were foiled due to none other than Shizuo Heiwajima himself.

The man was unpredictable, which annoyed Izaya to an extent. He adores humans who exceed his expectations, the humans who do something unexpected, but for the life of him he just can’t stand it when Shizuo does something he didn’t plan.

Shizuo was uncontrollable, unpredictable and untamable. He’s a monster in the guise of a human, and it makes Izaya’s skin crawl with irritation and frustration that he just can’t place. Shizuo was so simple minded and obtuse, that its infuriating whenever he does something that's oddly insightful and praiseworthy.

Izaya would never praise him. At least, that’s what he always thought.

It started with a phone call to Shizuo; the blond had just gotten out of a fight against several gang members that could never stand a chance against him. Izaya had been watching the fight from the safety of one of his favorite roofs, a smile plastered across his face as he watched Shizuo pull out his phone.

“Shizu-chan,” he said in an almost breathless way. “Wonderful job as always.”

Shizuo paused, his body going rigid as his fingers curled tightly around his phone, threatening to break it into pieces. “It was _you_?” and though it was a question, it was stated as a fact, something that made Shizuo grind his teeth in dissatisfaction. He had thought that he and Izaya could finally let water under the bridge be, find some sort of neutral ground for the two of them and he can’t help but feel a little disappointed at something he should have seen coming.

He doesn’t want to admit that he might have felt betrayed.

“Ah, you know you should really stop blaming me for every little wrong thing that happens to you,” Izaya chided, walking along the edge of the building without a care in the world, his eyes still staying locked on the blond head of hair that was slowly turning to his direction. He gave a small wave when Shizuo’s eyes finally caught him, and he didn’t bother to move away from his spot even as he saw Shizuo enter the building. “I’m not always behind these attacks on you.”

“They said it was you,” Shizuo seethed, practically sprinting up the stairs, taking them three at a time, as his blood began to boil in his veins. “I thought they were just tossing your name for show,” he growled, and before he knew it he was already at the top floor, kicking the door open and off it’s hinges. “I guess they were tellin’ the truth,” he said to Izaya’s face now, instead of into his phone’s receiver. He hung up.

Izaya hung up as well, watching Shizuo with a gleam in his eyes. “Ah, you caught me red handed this time,” he replied shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. “What are you going to do about it?” he asked, but before he could get the whole sentence out of his mouth, a fist was swung at him and he barely dodged it, a small chuckle leaving him.

Shizuo’s fist collided with concrete and within the time it took to pull his hand back to prepare another punch, Izaya was already sprinting away from him. He growled. “IZAYA!”

The informant spun on his heel briefly to wave at Shizuo, hopping onto the fire escape ladder as soon as he could. With a sharp kick, he released the lock of the ladder, both hands clinging onto the metal as the ladder dropped all the way down and before it hit the ground, Izaya very gracefully jumped off, landing on his feet like a cat. He looked up and saw Shizuo glaring down at him and smiled, and thought Shizuo was too far away to hear it he still murmured with a smile on his lips.

_“Catch me.”_

 

 

**[Several minutes earlier, Ikebukuro]**

 

 

They’ve been running for hours, Shizuo screaming out Izaya’s name like a madman on the hunt while Izaya laughed like he was borderline hysterics. This chase was the worst one the city has ever seen, and no one seemed to have the guts to get in their way.

“Get back here you fuckin’ flea!!” Shizuo roared, tearing a stop sign off the road like he was plucking a flower from a field. He threw it like a javelin and it soared through the air, miraculously missing several people but it didn’t hit its mark.

Izaya had jumped back, the ground he was previously standing on was now a pile of rubble and he let out an appreciative whistle. “So close, Shizu-chan!” he called loudly, a grin on his face as he watched Shizuo’s face.

Before he could turn to leave, a hand had grabbed him by the back of his coat. A startled look flitted across his face, Shizuo had moved too fast to be human, but as he turned his head to look behind him he had realized that instead of Shizuo it was Kadota with a deeply unhappy look on his face.

“Yo, Dotachin~!” He greeted, but his legs were itching to move, the danger emanating from Shizuo making him shiver in anticipation. “It’s rare that you get in on one of our fights! Could it be you’re jealous of Shizu-chan for stealing all of my attention?”

Karisawa squealed in delight and though she was in the crowd with Yumasaki in an attempt to keep the people away from danger, she couldn’t help but fan herself at the thought of a love triangle between the three men.

Shizuo was walking closer and Izaya wanted nothing more but to run, just a little bit more, but Kadota’s grip on him was strong and unrelenting. “Now, now, this isn’t fair,” he stated, watching Kadota’s face intently. He squirmed a little bit until Kadota let him go and then turned around to face his old friend. “Honestly, Dotachin,” he said with a huff. “Don’t get in my way.”

The blond was so close now but he was paused. Celty was in front of him, waving her arms in a placating manner before she pulled out her PDA to type a very quick message for the angry man. [I thought the two of you were finally getting along!] the message read, but all Shizuo could see right now was red.

“ _Shizuo_ ,” Izaya called and that single name alone was enough to catch the attention of everyone within the perimeter. 

 

 

**[Present time, Ikebukuro]**

 

 

At that Shizuo seemed to calm down, but only very slightly, just enough to comprehend whatever it is that Izaya was trying to say.

“Izaya,” Kadota warned, not liking the look on the informant’s face.

“Shizu-chan is so scary,” Izaya had said once he knew Shizuo was listening. “There are so many ways I could die but the one that scares me the most is Shizu-chan.”

Shizuo felt his blood run cold.

He knew that many people were afraid of him, and he didn’t really blame them. Sometimes his own strength scared him too. But to hear those words from Izaya, Izaya who had always looked him dead in the eyes even as he coaxed him into anger, Izaya who always laughed at a punch thrown his way, Izaya who never once gave him a terrified look…

He had always assumed that Izaya wasn’t scared of him.

He didn’t know that those words could make him feel so alone.

Kadota seemed to sense the dread slowly growing in Shizuo’s gut and with an irritated look he turned to Izaya. “Hey—“ he started, an angry tone in his voice.

But Izaya cut him off before he could continue. “How would you do it, Shizu-chan? Would you wrap your fingers around my neck until I turned blue? Would you slam my skull against the wall until my brains came out?” he laughed at the mortified looks around him. “Would you punch my chest so hard that my heart stops beating?”

Izaya Orihara liked being in control and therefore he did not like it when control escaped his fingers like sand in an hourglass.

For months and months ever since their truces started, there was always a thought that lingered in his mind, something that he had to actively push away into the deepest crevices of his mind. He didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to dwell on it, but with each passing day, with each passing month, it got harder and harder to control that thought; it got harder and harder to ignore it. The thought was persistent and never leaving until finally he decided to punch it in the fucking face.

Izaya Orihara liked Shizuo Heiwajima.

When he finally addressed the thought, he felt like puking his guts out. How could he, a god among men, like a monster?

How could he fall in love with Shizuo Heiwajima?

He pulled out his flick blade and stared at the metal gleam with affection; his ever-trusty blade that has been with him for as long as he knew Shizuo Heiwajima. He pointed its tip forward at Shizuo, Kadota just barely stepping out of his way, and smiled. “Ne, Shizu-chan. Tell me, how would you kill me?”

If Celty had a face she would be frowning. She knew that Shizuo was against killing; that the topic of murder was sensitive to him and she didn’t like that Izaya was practically shoving it at his face. [Don’t listen to him] she typed out for her friend. [He’s just trying to get under your skin. Don’t let him have the satisfaction.]

She couldn’t help but feel infuriated at Izaya.

But before she could act, before anyone could move, Izaya was already weaving his way through Kadota and Celty’s bodies, until he was only one foot away from the unmoving blond.

Izaya stared up at Shizuo’s face, the look of anger gone and replaced with self-doubt. The tip of his blade touched Shizuo’s chest, right on the scar that he had left the first time they met, and he couldn’t help but feel a strange sort of fondness for the monster in front of him.

Orihara Izaya didn’t get nervous. If he did, he always masked it; he was good at pretend.

It was hard to pretend right now, however.

He smiled one of the cockiest smiles he could muster, trying to overcome the erratic beating of his heart with the sound logic of his mind.

“I like you, Shizu-chan,” he stated, only just loud enough for Shizuo to hear. “I like you, so don’t kill me, okay?” he told him, taking one step closer, their faces almost touching. “I like you, so you should be mine, ne?” And finally throwing all sense of logic into the air, Izaya closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to Shizuo’s.

It was their first kiss.

It wasn’t even a really special kiss; their lips were just touching, even high school students could get more creative than that.

Still, Shizuo’s face was instantly hot to the touch, burning red in embarrassment at the simple gesture.

Izaya pulled back and though his heart was racing in his chest, he felt a little bit better now that he had finally spoken the words that have been plaguing his mind for months. He stared at Shizo’s face, and though he would never admit it to anyone else, he was scared. He was scared of the possible rejection. He would rather Shizuo punch his face and tell him to stop joking instead of hearing a solid “no.” So before the fear could fully take over his body, Izaya took a step back, willing his heart to calm down for a few moments.

“Oh, I’m so busy,” he stated, like he didn’t just pour out his feelings, or kiss him. “So busy and Shizu-chan took up so much of my time,” he continued, taking out his phone to check the time. “I’d love to play with you more, but I’m going to be lat—“

It was their second kiss.

It was nothing special. Just their lips pressing together in such a soft way that it almost felt like it didn’t happen.

Before Izaya could react properly, before anyone could react properly (except Karisawa who screamed in delight, but that wasn’t really a normal reaction) Shizuo’s hand caught the hood of Izaya’s coat and lifted him from the ground. Shizuo pulled his arm back and, as if he were throwing a baseball, he threw Izaya into the air without a single coherent thought in his mind.

It took him two seconds to realize that he threw Izaya.

“Wait— _Shit!_ ”

Though Shizuo was never really good at physics, or any other science in general really, he had a knack at guessing trajectories. He didn’t care about aerodynamics or the friction wind caused or how fast it would be for gravity to make an object hit the ground; he was already running towards where Izaya would land and he wasn’t really sure if he was going to make it there fast enough.

A shot of black material flew into the sky, like a fishing line out to sea, towards Izaya and it took another two seconds for Shizuo to realize that it was Celty’s doing. The thread of shadows, just before it reached Izaya, burst at the end like a web and wrapped around the informant before his back could hit the wall of the building behind him.

Though Celty couldn’t see him, she felt him shaking in her dark web. She thought that maybe Izaya was shaking in fear, but she scratched out that idea since she knew well enough that Izaya was probably laughing.

She dropped Izaya very carefully in front of Shizuo, watching him carefully as he straightened himself out.

“Flea,” Shizuo started after a few seconds of silently staring. “I… Uh,” he grumbled, stuffing his hands into his pockets as his gaze met the ground. He kicked lightly at the ground out of embarrassment. “Sorry.”

Izaya swallowed the lump in his throat. “Sorry for what, Shizu-chan?” He asked, trying his best to look like he was amused and not at all nervous.

“Throwin’ you, obviously!” Shizuo shouted back in reply. He was nervous too.

The informant paused, and then laughed. He laughed so hard, he felt like his sides were going to burst. He laughed and laugh, one hand wrapping around Shizuo’s arm as he tried to steady himself, his free arm wrapping around his own waist as he tried to calm himself down.

“Sh-shut up, damn it,” Shizuo muttered.

He stood up abruptly, his hand still clutching at Shizuo’s arm. He smiled. “You can throw me as many times as you like, as long as you make sure to catch me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is probably the last???


	10. Romance

It was nearly midnight when Shizuo heard the ringing of his doorbell. He never really expected visitors passed seven, though he never really expects visitors in general, so he found himself a little bit confused and little bit disgruntled. Who was it and what business did they have with him? With an upset grumble, Shizuo stood up to get the door, the ringing of the bell incessant and unyielding. 

There was a bouquet of flowers pressed to his chest the moment he opened the door wide enough for whoever it was who rang his doorbell.

It was a big bouquet and it was bursting with vibrant colors and fragrances that Shizuo would never have though of seeing in the middle of the night. There are flowers there that he doesn’t recognize, flowers so pretty he didn’t know they existed in the world. He’s seen plenty of flowers from several flower shops around Ikebukuro but he’s never seen a bouquet quite as exquisite and unique as the one in front of him.

“Good evening,” Izaya greeted, peeking his face over the bushel of flowers with a very carefree smile on his face. “I hope I didn’t disturb you.”

Shizuo was, amusingly enough, and old soul trapped in a young man’s body. He loved traditional things in regards to romance, like simple dates, holding hands, watching the sky at night; he was simple and he was quiet and he was so easy to please but the reactions he gave were too priceless to give up and Izaya had discovered that he didn’t want anyone else to see those expressions on Shizuo’s face.

The informant peered at his boyfriend intently, carefully analyzing every crease and curve on the blond’s face; his eyebrows shot up in shock, eyes wide in wonder while his mouth hung open slightly as he took in the sight of the flowers. Izaya could only barely contain the giggle threatening to escape him.

“You’re going to catch flies in your mouth if you keep it like that,” he teased.

The former bartender was still, still a little bit shocked and the unexpected surprise. “These are for me?” he voiced after he had gathered himself, taking the bouquet from Izaya in a tender sort of way. Their fingers brushed against each other in the quickest of moments, but Shizuo could swear the butterflies in his stomach were already escaping him.

“No, they’re for your brother,” Izaya laughed lightly, using the tips of his fingers to gently push Shizuo’s chin up, his mouth going shut. “Are you going to let me in or will I really have to look for your brother instead?”

Shizuo frowned slightly, gently using the bouquet to tap the top of Izaya’s head an admonishing way. “I ought to punch you,” he muttered, stepping back to let the other man in.

Izaya slipped out of his shoes, practically skipping to Shizuo’s kitchen. “Do you have a vase to keep them in?” he asked, pulling open cupboards in search of a vase, or any container really.

The blond followed after him, reaching in one of the taller cupboards for an old glass pitcher that he never bothered to use before. He filled it up with water before carefully resting the flowers into their new home. He stared at the flowers, brushing his fingers against the petals like he was caressing a lover’s cheek. He blushed. “Why’d you give me these?”

“Can’t I give nice things to my boyfriend?” Izaya asked, taking his coat off before hanging it over the back of one of the chairs in the kitchen.

Shizuo was still not used to the “B” word. It was hard to believe considering the relationship they’ve had since high school. Life truly did work in mysterious ways. With a heavy sigh, he leaned his hip against the counter top as he folded his arms over his chest. “I… I guess,” he replied quietly.

The informant climbed on top of the kitchen island where the flowers were, pulling the makeshift vase towards himself. “I chose the flowers myself,” he said happily, his voice just as quiet as Shizuo’s. He plucked one of each flower out of the bouquet, naming them as if he were some sort of florist.

Pink, red and white Camellias. White Violets. Red Carnations. Yellow and violet Ambrosias. Forget me nots. Purple Ficoideses.

Shizuo did not know that flowers had so many complicated names. 

“I chose them especially for you,” Izaya cooed, reaching over and stretching his body to cover the distance between himself and Shizuo, tucking several of the flowers behind Shizuo’s ears and into his hair. He pulled back to admire his handiwork and sure enough, the bodyguard’s face was a little bit red in embarrassment. “You’re really cute, Shizu-chan.”

As if he were retaliating, Shizuo took the red and pink flowers from his head and placed tucked them into Izaya’s hair as well. “Red suits you,” he muttered softly. “Arrgh… You’re so annoying, I want to punch your face.”

“Ahh, Shizu-chan. Don’t be like that,” he laughed, reaching forwards again to wrap his arms around Shizuo’s neck, pulling himself flush against the former bartender’s chest. “You like me, silly. You’re not supposed to hit me.”

“Celty hits Shinra all the time,” Shizuo argured.

Izaya snorted, letting it escalate into a quiet laugh. “Well, I’m not like Shinra so I’m not letting you hit me,” he murmurs against Shizuo’s shoulder, holding him close in a loose embrace. “I love you, Shizu-chan.”

Shizuo’s heart palpitated, those words always having such a strong affect on him. “I love you too.”

Izaya didn’t look it and neither did he act it in public, but he was overly affectionate and it might have freaked him out in the first few days of them being officially together. He tossed “I love you’s” like they were hand outs and kissed him like he was made of glass; careful, soft and lingering.

It was weird. They both knew very well that Shizuo was not made of glass, but Izaya always treated him as such in the comfort of their privacy. 

Those gentle touches however affected him as well; he wanted to reciprocate them the best he could.

“Hey, Izaya,” Shizuo murmured, burying his lips on the crown of Izaya’s head. His arms around the strange man in a loose hold as well, the smell of the sweet flowers encompassing them like a blanket made of silk.

“What is it?” Izaya whispered, already feeling sleepy.

“…Could you maybe…” Shizuo hesitated, his arms growing a little stronger around the informant. “Call me by my name?”

Izaya laughed softly.

 

 

 

 

“I love you, Shizuo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE LANGUAGE OF FLOWERS......  
> Pink Camellias: Longing for you.  
> Red Camellias: You're a flame in my heart.  
> White Camellias: You’re adorable.  
> White Violets: Let’s take a chance on happiness.  
> Red carnations: My heart aches for you.  
> Yellow and purple Ambrosias: Requited love  
> Forget me not: True love  
> Purple Ficoides: Your looks freeze me


	11. Omake

“Oh! Shizu-chan! _Harder!_ ”

The bed springs squeaked loudly and incessantly, grunts echoing off the four walls of the small room.

Karisawa’s eyes gleamed in delight, her ear pressed firmly against the wall of the adjacent room. Beside her was Yumasaki, though he didn’t have his ear pressed against the wall and instead he had a frown on his face. On the other side of the room sat Kadota, conversing silently and apologetically to the owner of the apartment next to Shizuo’s while Togusa was trying as best as he could to ignore the noises coming from the next room.

“I can die happy,” Karisawa whispered, her arm draping over her eyes in an exaggerated manner.

“Good, because I’m going to run you over with my van as soon as I get the chance!” Togusa screamed over a particularly loud moan of Shizuo’s name. He paled, snapping his head towards the direction of the T.V. in hopes of blocking out the noises he didn’t want to hear.

Kadota sighed. “I’m truly sorry,” he said to the young woman who offered him a cup of tea. “For these three idiots and as well as the idiots next door.”

The girl shook her head dismissively, a strained smile on her face. “Ah, it’s fine really. I’m just glad that Heiwajima-san has found someone he likes,” she replied and she actually meant her words.

Another loud noise, and they swore they felt the floor shake a little.

“Oh my _god_ ,” Kadota groaned.

 

**[Next door…]**

 

Izaya was happily bouncing on Shizuo’s bed, idly reaching up to let the tips of his fingers brush against the ceiling of the room. “Ohhh! _**Shizuo!!!**_ You feel so great!” he said loudly, trying his best not to laugh and hoped his voice sounded authentic enough. “Nnnnhh! Right there!”

“Izaya…” Shizuo muttered with a slightly disgruntled look on his face. He was trying to read, damn it, and Izaya was shaking the bed too much for him to focus on the characters in the book he was reading. “God damn it!” he shouted, losing his balance when Izaya jumped just a little to close to where he was.

The informant plopped down beside him, pressing the palm of his hand against Shizuo’s lips. “Play along,” he whispered with a mischievous grin. 

Shizuo frowned a little bit in confusion. Whenever they made love they were quiet, hushed whispers and gentle touches.

“Talk dirty to me,” Izaya whispered, and then suddenly. “ **OH FUCK, SHIZU-CHAN!** ”

Shizuo groaned (to which Izaya nodded in approval) and decided to indulge him just this once. “You like it like that don’t you, _Izaya-kun,”_ he growled out, pretending that he was mad instead of aroused. Honestly it was just really embarrassing. “Tell me how good you feel,” he murmured, but it was loud enough for the people in the other room to hear.

“Oh, god! Shizu-chan!” Izaya stood up on the bed, taking Shizuo’s hand in his own and pulled him up. He began to bounce on the bed, and much to his delight so did Shizuo. “I— I’m gonna!!!”

They heard a scream from the other room, and then hurried footsteps shuffling about. They heard Kadota’s stern voice giving instructions, Yumasaki’s loud chattering and Togusa’s cussing.

“Do you think we might have gone too far?” Shizuo asked, still bouncing on the bed like a child.

Izaya shook his head. “Nah, serves them right for trying to spy on us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha! I wrote this for myself really so I'm really really truly happy that you guys liked it even thought it was OOC.
> 
> I might write another one too! Maybe. If I don't get lazy.
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, thank you very much for reading! I hope you had fun reading this because I had fun writing it!


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